Come With Me and Escape
Luke sat down in front of his new computer and glared at the monstrosity. Not one to embrace new technology, he’d finally given up and purchased one against his better judgment. The handwritten ledger method he used to keep track of his finances was getting too time consuming as business continued to increase, and he was tired of working into the wee hours of the morning scribbling in that damn, worn book.
Luke conned Lane into giving him a few lessons on the machine in exchange for driving to Hartford to pick up some bootleg recordings from a music store there. He surprised himself when he found he picked up the basics right away and was able to construct a respectable spreadsheet to manage his deliveries, inventory, and general accounting points.
More shockingly, he’d relented and added wireless internet so he would be able to set up automatic payments to suppliers. Because of all this, for the first night in ages, Luke was sitting in his apartment at eight o'clock in the evening with no paperwork to catch up on. And he was acutely aware of how barren his personal life was now that he couldn’t immerse himself in busy work to ignore that reality.
Rachel had left, again, and what little social life he had when she was around was gone as well. Luke sighed and clicked the Sign On icon with his mouse, figuring he could at least pass the time by finding out the latest news on the Sox.
Impatient even with the most up to date technology at his fingertips, Luke drummed his fingers while he waited for the computer to successfully connect to the internet. When finally connected, he opened the browser to navigate to his new email account. An icon near the top flashed “You've got mail!”
“Oh, goodie.” Luke smirked. It was either junk mail or his damn sister. Nobody but Lane even knew he was officially online now. Part of their training agreement was that nobody was to find out, unless Lane wanted Mama Kim to find out about Lane's new obsession with The Dead Kennedys. Luke scrolled his way into his inbox, and sure enough there was a new email from his sister.
Hey, Bro! the email began. So welcome to the Matrix! Haven't talked to you in ages, sorry about that. Busy as all hell, yada yada yada. Nice screen name. Couldn't get more boring could ya??
Anyway, a friend of mine was talking about this website, and I thought of you, now that Rachel went poof again. Check it out, maybe you'll see something you like (wink, wink). It's called meetandgreet.com, and yeah, I know it sounds really stupid, but my friend says she met a really great guy on there, and she's really happy. That's all I want for ya, big brother. (A great girl, not a guy.) Give it a whirl, okay? How's everyone in the Hollow? Talk to Carrie lately? (Ha ha, make out with her under the bleachers lately?) Business good? Anyway, gotta run. Write back soon. Love ya, bro! L.
Luke rolled his eyes. “What's so bad about my screen name?” he asked aloud. He had chosen Schilling38 when he first signed up for his account, a little nod to the best baseball team in modern history, maybe even ancient history as well if cavemen ever picked up sticks and whacked rocks around with it.
What was he supposed to pick, Hotdinerdude69?” Luke clicked on the Reply icon. He thought for a moment and grinned, then typed the word NO in the body. As he clicked on Send, he chuckled. “That'll screw her up for hours. Especially if she's still hitting the wacky weed.”
Luke re-read Liz's email and stared at the link she’d sent. “What a joke,” he muttered. But he was bored and wide awake, so he decided to look at the page for a minute, even if it was just to mock the hordes of pathetic people trying to sell themselves to the lowest bidder. Luke clicked on the link and laughed as the main page loaded. There were a few couples pictured, hugging each other tightly, smiling maniacally. “Wow, I'm sold,” Luke grunted. “I'll bet I can get that in just three clicks.”
The site looked easy enough to navigate. After reading the directions, he keyed in parameters in search of a woman living within thirty miles of Stars Hollow, just to see what kind of nut jobs he lived near. Dozens of profiles of eager women filled the screen. Luke snorted loudly, easily picking out a Glamour Shots photo of Crazy Carrie and her mind-boggling cleavage next to a lengthy manifesto of her sexual and emotional needs. “Not touching that with a thirty-nine and a half foot pole.” Luke shook his head, feeling fairly confident Carrie was married now. Poor schmuck, he thought.
Luke read through a few profiles of women that were in the vicinity, nearly gagging at the warm and fuzzy profiles. Everybody wanted the same thing. Long walks on the beach. Long talks by firelight. Picnics by the lake. A soul mate. A lover and a best friend. Babies. Babies. Babies. A man with a yearly income of at least $75,000 a year.
No wonder I’m single, he thought. Nobody wanted a normal relationship. They wanted his sperm count and last year's tax records. Luke scrolled through the pages of profiles, staring at the goofy pictures of the women that had dared to post a photo. Sure, there were pretty women mixed in with average faces, and profiles with no photos at all, and Luke wasn't necessarily judging the books by their covers.
He was too busy laughing at how many photos were of women taking their own photo in the bathroom mirror, obscuring their faces with reflected flash light. He almost fell out of his chair from laughing so hard when he noted that one woman hadn't taken notice of the fact that she’d immortalized herself and a box of Tampax on the shelf behind her.
Luke was ready to move on to the ESPN web page when his eyes fell on a short photo-less profile that was completely different from the rest. The profile header read I Am Not Normal. Luke chuckled. “An honest woman. Go figure,” he murmured, reading the rest of the paragraph.
I'm guessing there's probably about a hundred guys reading this just to see what else I'm going to say, the profile read. First of all, I have a kid. Okay, now for the two guys who are still reading this, thanks for hanging in there. You're real troopers.
I don't have much to say about myself. I like to have fun. I like movies. I like to laugh. I like to make fun of people. I like martinis. And I like to sit on my couch. I like coffee, and I like chocolate. I like food, yet I am freakishly thin. I can't promise the same thing in twenty years, but you'll probably be bald so who are you kidding, anyway? Get over it.
Anyway, I guess I'm just looking for someone who fits. I suppose I'd like those long walks and picnics by the lake, and I’d love deep, soulful gazes into each other's eyes, but let's be serious. That isn't the real deal, is it? I just want someone who fits. Beside me. In my life. And I'd fit into their life. I think it's a reasonable request, don't you? I don't need poetry. Give me a foot rub every once in a while, and we'll be A-OK.
That did it. He was intrigued. “This lady can't be serious,” he said. “There's got to be a catch.”
Luke stared for a long time at the screen, reading the words over and over. Finally, with a guilty look over his shoulder, as if someone might actually be watching him, he clicked on the Sign Up icon. He groaned in embarrassment as he filled out the required fields and finally came to a blank space to fill in with his own profile.
“Jeez,” he muttered, closing his eyes to think of something, anything to type. After a long while, he managed to come up with a heading entitled, I Hate Everything.
Luke grinned. “That'll weed out the riff-raff. Along with all the women.”
Bending over the keyboard, he began to hunt and peck his way through his own short profile. I am not a cheerful person, Luke typed. I'm pretty much a grump. But I have a feeling if I met one sort of tolerable woman, I'd be a little less insufferable. I'm not looking for magic, if YOU are, then you're barking up the wrong tree. The most I can offer is the ability to fix your shower head or change the oil in your car. From what I’ve been told, I make a pretty decent boyfriend but then again, I have issues with picking women who aren't very good at being girlfriends. I'd like to change that. Yeah, I want the real deal, but I don't need perfection. All I really need is someone who's going to be there for the long haul. Not when the mood strikes. All in or not at all. Not too much to ask for, is it?
Luke sighed, blushing as he clicked on the Submit Profile icon. “This ought to be a hoot,” he said. He returned to the previous page and stared at that slightly off-beat profile again. Drumming his fingers nervously on the desk as he tried to convince himself to click Contact, he finally sucked in a lungful of air, squeezed his eyes shut, and pressed the left button on the mouse. He opened his eyes and let the air whoosh out of his lungs and stared at the blank field.
He tried to think of something suave to say, but he didn’t know a thing about being suave. He tried to think of something witty, but still, nothing came to mind. Finally, Luke began to type. “Did you check out the picture of the chick with the Tampax? What the hell is that all about?” Luke quickly clicked Submit and gasped at what he’d just done.
“Holy crap!” He moaned and buried his face in his hands. “Smooth, Danes, real smooth.” he said. “Well, so much for that idea.” He sighed, still horrified at the stupid message he had just sent. Luke moved the mouse upward, about to close the window so he could forget about his bungled first foray into online communication when he heard a ping. Luke looked at the web page and saw a small envelope now appearing in his message folder.
“It's Carrie, I just know it.” He opened his message folder and sat bolt upright in his seat. It was the Not Normal woman. “Oh, boy.” Luke gulped. “I'm going to get reamed out, aren't I?”
Luke clicked on the message. He began reading what the woman sent back to him. OH MY GOD!!!!!! the message read. Can you believe that? I nearly ruptured my spleen laughing so hard at that! It's worse than the hairy, hairy man flexing his muscles in his boxer shorts! Do you have a messenger account? We seriously need to discuss this NOW!
Wow, he thought. She didn't freak out on him. “Unbelievable,” he muttered while he replied with his screen name. Luke clicked on Send and waited.
An instant message window appeared showing the screen name of Javaliscious.
“Here we go.” Luke groaned and began to hesitantly converse with the woman.
Javaliscious: Wow, boring screen name you've got there.
Schilling38: Thanks, I'm a pretty boring guy.
Javaliscious: So why don't you have a pic?
Schilling38: I'm not a self-absorbed schmuck. You?
Javaliscious: Touche. I'm just too lazy to figure out how to load one.
Schilling38: I see.
Javaliscious: So, I'm glad I'm not the only one who is going to lose sleep over that Tampax shot.
Schilling38: I may need medication.
Javaliscious: Me too, lol.
Schilling38: What?
Javaliscious: lol? Laugh out loud?
Schilling38: Oh. Computer shorthand. I have no clue about that stuff. This is the first time I've ever used the damn message thing.
Javaliscious: Oh, I.M. Virgin!!
Schilling38: You are? Okay. I don't really know what to say about that. Good job?
Javaliscious: omg. I meant that you're an instant message virgin. Pervert.
Schilling38: Well, how was I supposed to know? Sorry. And what does omg mean?
Javaliscious: “Oh my God.” I see I'm going to have to type longhand, aren't I?
Schilling38: Yes, please. I have no idea what any of that means.
Javaliscious: Fine, but only because I like you.
Schilling38: You do? That's quick.
Javaliscious: Commitment phobe? I just meant you had the chutzpah to send that message about the Tampax, so I like you. You've got pizzazz. I'm not setting the date yet.
Schilling38: Good. As long as we're clear.
Javaliscious: Crystal. No marriage until you convert.
Schilling38: To what?
Javaliscious: idk. Church of Bono?
Schilling38: Not a big U2 fan. idk?
Javaliscious: “I don't know.” Sorry. Forgot. And you suck for not liking U2.
Schilling38: I'll do better, I promise.
Javaliscious: So, what do we do now?
Schilling38: Now?
Javaliscious: Yeah, I've never really done this before.
Schilling38: Me neither.
Javaliscious: We could play Twenty Questions.
Schilling38: Sounds scary.
Javaliscious: Do you want to go first?
Schilling38: Not really.
Javaliscious: Okay, then I'll just grill you all at once, then you can go. Are you game?
Schilling38: I guess so.
Javaliscious: Okay first question. Ready?
Schilling38: Yes. Next question?
Javaliscious: No, I meant are you ready for the game to start?
Schilling38: Yes. That's 2. 18 more to go.
Javaliscious: Wow, you're evil. I like it.
Schilling38: Thanks.
Javaliscious: Okay, let me think. Do you like pina coladas?
Schilling38: Not really. I'm pretty much a beer man.
Javaliscious: Getting caught in the rain?
Schilling38: Does anyone? I prefer to be caught with an umbrella handy.
Javaliscious: Are you into yoga?
Schilling38: No, not into that fruity new age crap.
Javaliscious: Do you have half a brain?
Schilling38: At least half. Enough to figure out how to use a computer, at least.
Javaliscious: Are you much into health food?
Schilling38: Sort of. I don't eat red meat most of the time. I eat a lot of salads, veggies, that kind of stuff.
Javaliscious: Are you into champagne?
Schilling38: See previous beer comment.
Javaliscious: Do you like the feel of the ocean?
Schilling38: Well, I guess I like water. Water kind of feels like water. So I guess I like the feel of the ocean. That's a dumb question. No offense.
Javaliscious: None taken, lol. Do you like making love at midnight?
Schilling38: What??
Javaliscious: Answer the question.
Schilling38: I'm a guy. I'd like making love in a grocery bag, if someone was offering.
Javaliscious: In the dunes of the cape?
Schilling38: What about the dunes of what cape? You're getting creepy.
Javaliscious: omg, you are so dumb, lol. It's a song!!
Schilling38: What's a song? I’m lost.
Javaliscious: Every question I asked you. It's the Pina Colada song. Rupert Holmes. You don't know it?
Schilling38: My music knowledge pretty much stops at Jethro Tull.
Javaliscious: Ew. That's it?
Schilling38: I went to a Jimmy Buffet concert once.
Javaliscious: Double ew. You're a Parrot-head? I'm losing all respect for you, Schill.
Schilling38: I was coerced. It wasn't my idea.
Javaliscious: Let me guess. You weren't even supposed to be there that day?
Schilling38: I don't get it.
Javaliscious: Movie quote. “Clerks”.
Schilling38: Oh. Okay. No, it was more like “I'm trying to make my girlfriend happy, so I'm wearing the fruity shirt.”
Javaliscious: That's sweet.
Schilling38: The shirt?
Javaliscious: No, that you would sit through Cheeseburger in Paradise for someone.
Schilling38: More masochism than sweetness.
Javaliscious: Why are you here?
Schilling38: Are you getting all existential on me now?
Javaliscious: No, I mean on the dating site. Why are you here?
Schilling38: I really don't know.
Javaliscious: Come on. Be honest.
Schilling38: I am. It was kind of a lark. I signed up tonight.
Javaliscious: Just for the heck of it?
Schilling38: I saw your profile. I was curious.
Javaliscious: Really?
Schilling38: Yes.
Javaliscious: That's nice. You saw the kid mentioned, right?
Schilling38: Yeah, which is why the virginity comment threw me. So?
Javaliscious: I think being honest about having a kid is why you're the only response I've ever gotten, lol.
Schilling38: Really? That's dumb.
Javaliscious: Why?
Schilling38: You're funny. You seem like guys would be climbing over each other to get to you.
Javaliscious: Not really.
Schilling38: Are you pretty?
Javaliscious: So I've been told. Are you?
Schilling38: I'm not the Elephant Man. I guess I'm sort of okay looking.
Javaliscious: Wow. That's confident.
Schilling38: Well, I don't know. I mean I never had issues getting dates in high school, and I've had some really pretty girlfriends in my life, so I guess I don't need to put a bag over my head. What am I supposed to say? I'm a beautiful man?
Javaliscious: Well, are you?
Schilling38: No, but I'm good looking, I guess. There, are you happy? I'm gorgeous. I'm hot. You should be so lucky to be as pretty as I am.
Javaliscious: Sheesh, you're really stuck up.
Schilling38: Oh my God.
Javaliscious: :P
Schilling38: What the hell was that?
Javaliscious: That's me sticking my tongue out at you. And laughing at you. So there.
Schilling38: You're a lot of work, you know that?
Javaliscious: LOL! You sound just like a friend of mine.
Schilling38: Yeah?
Javaliscious: Yeah, he always gets so exasperated with me. Most of the time, I'm just trying to drive him insane, but he thinks I'm really that mental.
Schilling38: I think I'm going to have to agree with him.
Javaliscious: Thanks a lot.
Schilling38: So why don't you go out with him?
Javaliscious: Huh? Him? Oh, I'm not his type.
Schilling38: Why not?
Javaliscious: He seems like he would need someone more grounded than I am.
Schilling38: What does that mean?
Javaliscious: I don't know. I don't want to give you the wrong impression, I'm not pining over the guy, it's just that, do you know a girl who's just a friend, and will probably always be just a friend, but she's just your ideal of who you would want to be with if you were, idk, worthy enough?
Schilling38: Actually, I do.
Javaliscious: Yeah?
Schilling38: Yeah. Why aren't you worthy?
Javaliscious: Because he needs someone as intense as he is. He's kind of a really hard person to read, but you just get this feeling that under the surface, there's just something really amazing there. And I don't even mean exactly romantic. He's just such a wonderful person and I don't think I'd ever be able to match that fire. You know?
Schilling38: I get it.
Javaliscious: And why aren't you worthy?
Schilling38: Kind of the same thing.
Javaliscious: Plagiarism. Nice.
Schilling38: Sorry. I'm not exactly a poet, here. I guess I think she deserves someone extraordinary? And I don't necessarily mean I wish it was me. I just think she is an extraordinary woman, and she should be with someone just as incredible as she is. She's the kind of woman I'd love to meet for myself, that's all I'm saying.
Javaliscious: I get it, too. You're really easy to talk to. Type to, I mean.
Schilling38: So are you.
Javaliscious: So, do we meet? Do we do this for like six months, or do we just bite the bullet and go on a date?
Schilling38: I don't know. Would you go on a date with me if I asked?
Javaliscious: Yeah, I think I would. I'm intrigued. I want to see Mr. Pretty Pants in living color.
Schilling38: Mr. Pretty Pants?
Javaliscious: Yep.
Schilling38: Great name. Fine, do you want to go on a date?
Javaliscious: Yes. Name the date and the place.
Schilling38: Tomorrow's Sunday, right? So would tomorrow work?
Javaliscious: Tomorrow would be great.
Schilling38: Good. I guess we should meet somewhere neutral. Where do you live?
Javaliscious: Stalker.
Schilling38: General idea, okay?
Javaliscious: In the Hartford area.
Schilling38: Okay, I'm about a half hour away from Hartford myself. So, there's this place called Sniffy's, ever hear of it?
Javaliscious: I've heard of it. Never been, but I know where it is.
Schilling38: Would that be neutral enough territory to meet?
Javaliscious: I can live with that. Good food there?
Schilling38: The best. But don't bother ordering. They'll just bring you something completely different anyway. But it's always good.
Javaliscious: It's a date. I'm a big fan of food.
Schilling38: Good, you'll need to be.
Javaliscious: How will I know you?
Schilling38: I don't know. Should I bring something? Like a signal? That way if you see me and think I'm freakish, you can run away before I see you.
Javaliscious: Good idea. Tell you what, I'll bring a book of poetry and a white rose, so you'll know me.
Schilling38: I'm guessing that's a movie reference?
Javaliscious: You betcha. And what should we have you do?
Schilling38: I have no clue.
Javaliscious: Let me think for a sec.
Schilling38: Okay.
Javaliscious: Got it. You should bring a monkey.
Schilling38: A monkey?
Javaliscious: Yeah. A cute little stuffed monkey.
Schilling38: Why?
Javaliscious: Because I'd like to have a cute little stuffed monkey.
Schilling38: Wow. This ought to be an interesting date. Is there anything you feel you should tell me now? Any medications? Escaped from an asylum recently?
Javaliscious: Shush you. Just bring my monkey and be there at seven?
Schilling38: Seven sounds good.
Javaliscious: Okay then. Seven it is. Looking forward to meeting you, Schill.
Schilling38: Same here.
Javaliscious: Well, good night, Schill. I'll see you tomorrow night.
Schilling38: Good night, Java, see you tomorrow.
Luke logged off and pushed himself away from the computer. He looked up at the clock. “Crap,” he muttered. It was one in the morning. He wandered over to his bed and crawled in, grinning as he turned off the light on his bed stand.
“Got a date.” Luke chuckled to himself as he pulled up his comforter. “Hope she doesn't look like George Burns.” He soon fell asleep, despite the sudden sensation of butterflies taking flight in his gut.
Luke woke up surprisingly alert, despite his late night. The day flew by as he ran around the diner. Miss Patty had noticed that he was in a rare good mood and asked what had him so light on his feet. Luke only grinned and shrugged his shoulders. Before he knew it, it was four o'clock in the afternoon. Luke shut the diner down early and made his way upstairs to get ready for his date. He showered, shaved for the first time in weeks, and dug out the shirt that Lorelai had bought on her poorly thought out shopping trip with Luke's card. Luke stared at the shirt, cringing at the knowledge that this shirt was a big part of why Rachel had left.
Trying to push the thought of Lorelai out of his mind, Luke shook his head. He’d learned his lesson. Lorelai wasn't an option and he was moving on. He wasn't going to sit around and pine for someone who'd never have him, and besides, tonight was just one date. It was someone he didn't even know. Someone who would probably decide by 7:15 that he wasn't exactly floating her boat.
All he was doing was taking those first tentative steps back into the world of dating. Baby steps, right? He hated that world, but it was the only way he was going to have a fighting chance at having a decent relationship. As good as he was at being a hermit, he hated it. He wanted to be a part of something and it was about time he stopped drooling over completely unreceptive women and start looking for someone who wanted to be a part of his life.
Luke finished getting dressed and headed out to his truck, in desperate need of a monkey. After scouring a few of the shops, he finally found a store that had a display of retro eighties toys. Luke found a Mon Chi Chi monkey in the midst of that display and grinned. He was pretty confident he had just found the perfect monkey. Luke paid for the doll and headed back to the truck. A quick glance at his watch showed he had just enough time to make it to Sniffy's by seven o'clock.
Luke was early and had enough time to chat with the owners, Maizie and Buddy, who were old friends of his parents. They picked on Luke mercilessly when they saw the monkey and Luke finally successfully pleaded with them to maintain their distance and give him a chance with the woman he was meeting before they attacked. Maizie guided Luke to what she considered her most romantic table, and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, wishing him good luck.
“Who am I looking for?” Maizie whispered conspiratorially as she brought a pair of pina coladas that Luke had suddenly decided to order as an icebreaker when his date arrived.
“She might have a book of poetry and a white rose,” Luke admitted sheepishly.
“Oh, just like that movie.” Maizie laughed. “Cute, I'll send her back when I see her.”
“Thanks.” He smiled as Maizie went to hover impatiently by the entrance.
Luke sat with his back to the door, figuring the woman he was meeting was at least going to be forced to meet him face to face before fleeing. He fidgeted nervously with the monkey in his hands.
Luke looked up at the mirror behind the bar to see someone approaching. The mirror was distorted, but he could see a white rose reflected in the glass. His eyes widened as he saw something familiar in the approaching reflection. There was something familiar about the smile he caught a glimpse of in the mirror.
Suddenly, the woman was at Luke's side. He first looked at the book of poetry and the white rose she clutched in her hand, then let his eyes wander up to meet her eyes. He gulped and whispered shakily, “Oh, it's you.”
Lorelai stood beside Luke, staring down at him in shock. Her eyes slowly drifted to the monkey he was currently unleashing a death grip on, then on to the two pina coladas sitting on the table. Lorelai's look of shock melted away, and she smiled at Luke. “I never knew,” she whispered.
“Knew what?” Luke choked out.
“That you liked pina colada,.” she said.
“Um, well...actually...” Luke stammered.
“Beer.” Lorelai nodded. “You're pretty much a beer man.”
Luke shrugged nervously. “Yeah, pretty much.”
“Slide over, Schill.” Lorelai smiled. “Looks like we have some talking to do.”
Luke accommodated Lorelai's request and slid over. He fidgeted nervously with the silverware as Lorelai collected her thoughts. Finally, she opened her mouth to speak.
“Lorelai, listen,” Luke blurted out, cutting her off before she could speak. “I know. I get. Let's just forget this happened okay? We'll just laugh it off and then forget about it. No harm, no foul.”
“Luke,” she said.
“No,” Luke interjected again, blushing brightly. “Please, just don't. It's bad enough that this happened. I just don't need to hear it said out loud. I know. It's not an option. Let me out of here with at least one shred of dignity, okay?”
Lorelai furrowed her brow. “Do you really think I'm...extraordinary?” she asked.
He stared at her, taken aback, then nodded slowly. “Beyond extraordinary,” he said.
Lorelai shook her head. “Man,” she muttered. “This is one for the books.”
“Worthy?” he asked. “Worthy of....me?”
Lorelai nodded, and stared at him. “For the record, very pretty,” she said.
He laughed. “So, now what?”
She looked at him curiously. “What do you want to do? Not what you think you should do, what do you want to do?”
Luke gazed at Lorelai, his feelings completely betrayed by his penetrating eyes. “Kiss you,” he murmured softly.
Suddenly, she took his face in her hands. She gently brushed her lips across his lips, sighing softly at the contact.
Luke pulled Lorelai close and deepened the kiss. He moaned as he felt Lorelai relax into the embrace, and hesitantly caressed her lower lip with the tip of his tongue. Lorelai immediately parted her lips and allowed Luke to slide his tongue between them She shivered as he reverently explored her mouth.
Lorelai finally broke the kiss, breathing heavily. She looked at Luke, wonder in her eyes. Luke stared back. When she suddenly stood up, he closed his eyes, feeling his heart sink.
“Luke,” Lorelai said. “Hey, wake up.” She punched him lightly on the arm.
Luke opened his eyes and returned his gaze to her face, trying to mask his disappointment. “What?”
Lorelai held her hand out to him. “Let's get out of here.”
“Where are we going?”
“I don't know.” Lorelai shrugged. “Let's just get out of here. And plan our escape.”
Luke arched an eyebrow at Lorelai. “Huh?”
“Guess I'm going to be singing you a song as we drive.” Pulling him to his feet, she laughed. “You're so sheltered.”
“Okay.” Luke allowed himself to chuckle. “So we're leaving. Together.”
“Yeah,” she said. “Together. Oh, and thanks for my monkey.” She leaned over and snatched the Mon Chi Chi doll from the table.
Luke frowned as they made their way toward the door. “Want to know something really pathetic?”
“What?”
“I was thinking about you when I picked it out,” Luke admitted.
“What can I say?” Lorelai said. “I'm an extraordinary woman.”
“That you are.” Luke opened the door for Lorelai. “Luckily you're with one amazing, wonderful, fiery man.”
“I like you, Schill.”
“I like you too, Java.” Luke grinned and pulled Lorelai into another kiss.
FIN
A Mother's Independence Day
Lorelai looked around at the tiny potting shed that, somehow, was to become her home. She stared at the bare, dingy walls and narrowed her eyes, envisioning what she could do with them. Roses, she thought. Pretty little roses on pretty white wallpaper. That would compliment this place. It was once a potting shed, after all. Roses would be fitting. Lorelai sighed. That was going to take some time until she had enough money to invest in such a thing. It would be months before she could make that happen. But she could plan. It was her place now, hers to do anything she wanted.
Turning around slowly, she imagined what she could do to the place until she could afford the wallpaper. Curtains, lots of curtains, she decided. Curtains worked miracles if you found the right ones. She glared at the exposed bathtub and toilet. Really big curtain, she mused. Pretend it's a wall. Ignore the fact that somebody didn't have the common sense to make the bathroom a separate room when it was only a few feet away from the kitchen sink.
She crossed the room and gingerly sat down on the edge of the ancient twin bed that she had pushed up against the wall so Rory wouldn't roll off of it in her sleep. She reached over and pulled the blanket up around the sleeping girl who occupied the bed, tucking it in around her tiny shoulders.
Lorelai smiled. “We're a long way from home, Rory,” she whispered, gently fingering a lock of the child's wavy sleep tousled hair. “But this will be home soon, I promise.”
At least she hoped it would be. She had no idea how to do this, no idea if what she was doing was right. All she knew was a few days ago she was sitting in her bedroom, happily watching Rory toddle around the perimeter, grabbing onto the edges of her lacy duvet, her night stand, her dresser drawers, anything to avoid the perils of standing on her own.
She watched Rory methodically make her way to the desk. The child looked over her shoulder at Lorelai, flashed a dazzling grin at her mother, and stealthily grabbed a spiral notebook from the desktop. Rory immediately toppled over onto the floor, still clutching the book. She sat up and began to cheerfully tear page after page out of the book, stopping occasionally to chew on a scrap of paper.
“If Grandma saw you doing that, she'd flip out,” Lorelai informed the girl, laughing as Rory looked up at her and graced her with an understanding belly laugh before returning to the chore of tearing blank pages from the notebook.
Lorelai frowned down at the girl. She cocked her head, listening as Richard and Emily readied themselves for a dinner party. They wouldn't be stopping in to say good night, Lorelai knew. Their minds were elsewhere, focused on their social duties. The idea of watching Rory deface a book would blow their minds, she thought. They'd try to lecture Rory, try to tell her why it was not acceptable to do such a thing.
Of course, then they would scold Lorelai for allowing her to do such a thing. And Lorelai knew that trying to explain that it couldn't be that horrible to let the kid discover a little cause and effect every now and again. Maybe it was destructive, but the desire to mutilate a perfectly good notebook made that girl figure out how to get to her goal. Nobody helped her. She had to struggle across the room to get to that book, which meant that she had given herself a little mental and physical workout. The ends justified the means, or rather the means justified the ends.
That was how the sudden plan to leave began to form in Lorelai's mind. Within the hour she realized that the life she and Rory were leading right now was not the life she wanted for them. She didn't want Rory to grow up with nannies and maids. She didn't want Rory to go to teas and sit like a lady when she should be playing and getting in trouble like a little girl should. At any rate, Lorelai found herself standing at a bus station, a few duffel bags filled with everything of her's and Rory's that she deemed necessary. Rory dozed peacefully on her shoulder, and Lorelai climbed on a bus destined for a town named Stars Hollow, a destination she had picked solely because any town with a name like that had to be a nice place for a little girl to grow up.
When she got off the bus, the gravity of what she had done began to sink and, and Lorelai panicked. She sat at the bus stop until morning dawned, unable to figure out what to do next. She was beginning to entertain the notion of going back home and facing the wrath of the elder Gilmores. But soon, one of the town residents had directed her to the Independence Inn, and Lorelai's faith in fate was restored. The owner was the kindest woman she had ever met. She immediately hired Lorelai, regardless of Lorelai's inexperience, and she had offered her and Rory a place to stay.
And that led her to where she was right now, sitting on a tiny bed, in a tiny potting shed on the outskirts of a tiny town where nobody knew her. Lorelai watched Rory sleep, desperately trying to quell the fear that gnawed at her gut. She got to her feet and paced restlessly. She was bored, to be honest. She was accustomed to having things around her to entertain her, and at this point, she didn't even own a television set.
Lorelai walked over to the small kitchen table and sat down, drumming her fingers on the table top as she tried to think of something to occupy her time until she was ready to join Rory and go to sleep. She looked at the box of stationery she had left on table and pulled it toward her. She stared at the blank page and grabbed a pen that she had stashed in the stationery box.
“I need to make a list,” she murmured to herself as she thought about what she wanted to write. After a while, inspiration struck, and Lorelai lowered her head as she began to write down the thoughts that were plaguing her mind.
Dear Rory,
These are the things that I want for you, and these are the reasons why I'm doing all this. I hope that someday you understand my choices, and you'll be able to look at this list and be able to put a check mark beside each item.
I want you to make mud pies.
I want you to go to carnivals and eat so much cotton candy that you get sick.
I want you to go to carnivals and ride the Tilt A Whirl so much that you get sick.
I want you to swing on swings, slide down slides, climb across monkey bars, and ride on see-saws without falling off and cracking open your pretty head.
I want you to have friends that have no social standing.
I want you to have friends who make you think.
I want you to have friends who make you laugh.
I want you to have friends who dare you to kiss the cutest boy in class.
I want you to have friends you have everything in common with.
I want you to have friends you have nothing in common with.
I want you to get melted chocolate all over your Easter dress, and I want you to not worry about it, because chocolate bunnies always get on Easter dresses, no matter how hard you try to avoid it.
I want you to wear frilly dresses only if you really like to wear frilly dresses. But if you want to wear jeans, I want you to wear jeans.
I want you to have birthday parties that are fun, with cake, and loud music, and lots of friends.
I want you to get into at least one food fight in your life.
I want you to jump in puddles.
I want you to listen to really cool music. Like The Bangles. But only if you want to listen to them.
I want you to burp, or pick your nose without fear of retribution.
I want you to eat popcorn, even if you have braces.
I want you to eat cheeseburgers. And frozen pizza.
I want you to have a boyfriend that owns a motorcycle, even if I hate him.
I want you to go to a party that gets busted up by cops.
I want you to make bad decisions that teach you not to make those decisions ever again.
I want you to go to the beach and get sand in your bathing suit.
I want you to build sand castles and collect sea shells.
I want you to go to really bad movies and make fun of them the entire time.
I want you to go to concerts and buy overpriced tee shirts with the band's tour dates on the back. I also want you to be able to wear those shirts around me without worrying that I'll ground you for having them.
I want you to like me. I want you to be my friend. I think we'll be really great friends, don't you? I want you to talk to me, and ask me my opinion. I want you to argue with me, but make up with me later. I want you to never hesitate to hug me or kiss me because you aren't sure if you should. I want you to know you can always do those things. I want to know you, really know you, and I want you to know me.
I've done a lot of stupid things lately, and let's face it, getting pregnant wasn't the smartest thing I could have done. But that gave me you, so I don't regret it. I wish it could have happened in a happier way, but I'll take what I can get.
I hope that if you ever read this, you'll be able to look back on our lives and be content with what I offered you. I hope that I stay true to all my hopes and wishes for you, that I never forget why I'm doing these things.
I know it'll be tough for a while, and I hope you forgive me if I can't give you much in the way of material things right now. But I promise you, I'm going to work hard, and I'm going to give you a good life. This is all I want right now. I want you to grow up happy.
Most of all, I hope you always know how much I love you, and how happy you make me. All this fear and doubt and uncertainty I'm feeling right now is worth it, because I know I need to do this for you. You get that, right? Everything I do, I'm doing it for you, Rory. I love you, and I'll always love you. Welcome home, my baby girl.
Love, Mommy
Lorelai sat up and re-read her letter, a smile forming on her lips. She folded the letter and put it into an envelope, feeling a sense of peace wash over her. She looked around the potting shed again, and her smile grew wider. This was a good place to be, she thought. She had never been so scared in all her life, but for the first time in her life, she felt liberated. She was frightened, but she was free at last, and Lorelai had finally found a home for her and her daughter.
Parting Advice
How she got there, or even why she chose to come here was beyond Lorelai. Her brain wasn’t exactly firing on all cylinders at the moment. All she could think about was how she had stood before Luke, begging him to marry her. And how he’d refused. He said no. Luke rejected her and so she fled.
She didn’t make a conscious choice to get in her Jeep and leave town. It just sort of happened. One minute she was wandering the streets of Stars Hollow, crying and trying to ignore the waves of humiliation that kept crashing over her, and the next, she found herself sitting here.
She couldn’t remember a thing about the drive, she realized as she slid out of the driver’s seat and approached the building. No traffic lights, no merging, no speed limits. It was all a blank. More than a little disconcerting to lose time in traffic, she realized. But at least she made it here in one piece, she thought, approaching the door.
Leaving in one piece wasn’t a certainty, though. Coming here was either going to make or break her. After her falling out with Luke, it wouldn’t take much to break her.
Lorelai glanced over her shoulder, knowing it may be wise to flee now before she went any further. But then she didn’t really have anywhere else to go. Not now. She looked at the door and took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell.
“Lorelai, what are you doing here?” Emily said as she opened the door. “Is something wrong?”
“No,” Lorelai said, rubbing her nose and sniffing. “Yes. I don’t know.”
“Are you all right?”
Lorelai stared down at her shoes. “Uh, I'm having a really bad night, and, um... I just don't want to be alone. Okay?”
Emily took a step back, allowing room for Lorelai to enter. “Come in.”
Lorelai followed Emily into the living room, her eyes still downcast and intent upon the forward progress of her feet. She sat down on the couch, nodding mutely but barely hearing Emily when she offered her a martini.
When a glass materialized in front of her, she jumped, startled to realize she just lost two minutes in a haze of swirling, ill-formed thoughts.
“Thanks,” she murmured, taking a sip of the drink, but not tasting a thing. Her eyes were still riveted to the floor, and though she couldn’t see her mother, she could feel Emily’s eyes on her, taking stock of her hunched posture, tear-stained cheeks, unruly hair, and general aura of defeat.
“Well now,” Emily said, clearing her throat and sitting back in her seat. “I suppose we could trade pleasantries, discuss Rory, the weather, the stock market. Or we could just cut to the chase and address the issue at hand for a change. What do you think?”
Lorelai nodded, not really processing what Emily was saying.
Emily set her glass down and leaned forward. “This is about Luke.”
She flinched. Damn Emily for just throwing his name out there, Lorelai thought. And damn her inability to play her cards close to the vest anymore. Emily Gilmore was like a heat-seeking missile and had just zeroed in on her target.
“It’s over,” Lorelai said, marginally impressed by the monotonous way she announced the end of her relationship with Luke. It was no different than saying “I’d like a side of cole slaw with that.”
Emily paused. “You said as much at the realtor’s office.”
“Well, now it’s really over.” The chill in the air was palpable as the words fell from Lorelai’s lips. She snapped her mouth shut, waiting for a jab, a snide comment, or a proclamation of a public holiday from Emily, who could only be overjoyed that her daughter was no longer engaged to a lowly diner man.
“I’m very sorry.”
Lorelai narrowed her eyes and stared at Emily. There was a level of sincerity in her voice that was unsettling, and Lorelai was unable to figure out her mother’s angle.
“I don’t know what happens next.” Lorelai savagely bit her bottom lip, trying to stave off a rush of fresh tears.
“You know what happens,” Emily said, her voice still unnaturally soft. “This isn’t the first relationship you’ve ended. You dust yourself off and you move on.”
“It’s different this time,” Lorelai whispered.
“How so?”
“It’s Luke.”
“I don’t understand.”
“It’s Luke.”
“I see.” Emily picked up her drink and stared at the amber liquid. “You love him.”
“Loved.”
“No,” Emily said, shaking her head. “You love him.”
“He doesn’t love me.”
“Did he say as much?”
“He didn’t have to say a word. His actions spoke loud and clear. That’s Luke for you. Actions speak louder than words.”
“And what did he do?”
“He didn’t do a thing. He just stood there and let me walk away.”
“What was said?”
“I told him we needed to get married. Tonight. Tomorrow. We had to elope. I asked him to show me he was committed to this, and he told me to wait. He…”
“You gave him an ultimatum?”
“Oh god,” Lorelai said, burying her face into her hands. “Don’t you start, too.”
“Lorelai,” Emily said. “You can couch it any way that you want, but an ultimatum is an ultimatum.”
“Fine, it was an ultimatum,” Lorelai said. A petulant edge had found its way into her voice, but she didn’t care.
“In case you haven’t noticed, Luke is a man.”
“Yes, Mom, I noticed. Not that there’s much reason to notice lately, the way things have been going.…”
Emily held up her hand. “I get the picture.” She sighed. “Men don’t respond well to ultimatums,” she murmured as she took a sip of her drink.
“Well, Luke sure didn’t,” Lorelai muttered bitterly.
“Where did this all come from? What went wrong?”
“April,” Lorelai whispered.
“It’s April’s fault?”
“No. It’s not her. It’s how Luke has handled this. He’s shut me out, Mom. Every time I try to get involved, he pushes me away. He doesn’t want me around April, he wants to do it all himself. I’m tired of feeling like a second class citizen in my own relationship. I’m tired of being banished to my house while Luke wanders off to bond with his daughter. Lane has a relationship with April. I don’t. What does that tell you?”
“It tells me that your fiancé is a fool,” Emily sniffed.
“Ex-fiancé.”
“It surprises me, however,” Emily continued, not addressing Lorelai’s clarification. “I thought surely by now you would have figured out the most basic fact about men.”
“And that is?”
“That they’re all fools,” she said, waving her hand dismissively. “Luke is a fool. Your father is a fool. They’re all fools. Your father and I were once late for a charity event because I was so busy with a last minute complication that I forgot to set out his suit for the evening. When I finally took the time to see what was delaying him, I found him sitting on the bed, staring at two pairs of socks. I had to tell him which pair to wear so we could leave. Otherwise, he may have had an aneurysm.”
“I’m sorry,” Lorelai said, shaking her head. “Is this going somewhere?”
Emily sighed impatiently. “Men do not deal well with change, Lorelai, unless it’s change that they initiate. They need guidance. A firm hand.”
“What is this, Dr. Spock’s guide to successful relationships?” Lorelai asked with a snort of disbelief.
“I’ve been married to your father for more than forty years, Lorelai. Would it be too much for you to credit me with a little knowledge?”
“So, what? I’m supposed to sneak my way into his life? Make myself indispensible to him so that he can’t live without me?”
“Something along those lines,” Emily said coolly. She leaned forward. “It’s not like you to give up, Lorelai.”
“I’m not the one giving up. Luke is.”
“No.” Emily sat back in her chair and took a drink. “No, you gave him an exit. Honestly, I expected better of you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about the fact that you simply let him use a loophole to get out of the relationship. Surely you knew he wasn’t a man to take kindly to being backed into a corner.” She smiled. “Even I know that.”
“What, you and Luke are pen pals or something?” Lorelai scoffed. “Do you text each other every day, giving away little secrets about yourselves? You send some dirt on the latest D.A.R scandal and he sends you his top secret Monte Cristo recipe? How could you possibly know anything about Luke?”
“You forget, I’ve had my own little, shall we say, interactions with the man,” Emily said. “You remember what happened the last time I tried to intervene on your behalf. The man nearly bit my head off. He wasn’t interested in my advice, and he wanted no part of my attempts to give the relationship a healthy nudge.”
Lorelai sank back into her seat, slumping down into the plush cushions of her mother’s couch. “I don’t get this at all. You’re on Luke’s side? Is this some twisted attempt to finally send me to the loony bin?”
Emily rolled her eyes. “I’m not on Luke’s side. Believe me, I’d be over the moon if I thought you were done with… that man. You can do better than him. You deserve a person who is able to match your… potential.”
Lorelai bristled, sitting up in her seat. “He’s not a commoner, if that’s what you’re trying to get at, Mom. Last time I checked, we weren’t directly descended from the Romanovs.”
“Oh, I know,” Emily said, smiling thinly. “But for someone who is finished with the man, you certainly are quick to defend him.”
Lorelai sighed heavily. “It isn’t about Luke as a person. It’s about his actions. I care about Luke, but I’ve had it up to here with the way he’s handled things. I’m exhausted. I don’t like sitting on the bench, waiting for the coach to blow the whistle and send me out onto the field.”
“And yet you allowed him to banish you to the sidelines,” Emily said, shaking her head.
“What?” Lorelai asked. “Are you saying this is my fault?”
“I couldn’t say who is to blame,” Emily replied. “But a relationship is a partnership. It takes two to tango, as they say.”
“Luke doesn’t tango,” Lorelai murmured. “Luke waltzes.”
“Well, now, that’s an image,” Emily said, smirking. “I’m curious, though. When did this change occur?”
“What change?”
“Oh, the one where you decided to become a passive drone, caving to the whims of the man in your life. Taking orders was never your style, Lorelai. I have at least fifteen party dresses of yours in storage to attest to that fact. When somebody tells Lorelai Gilmore to stay away from the mud puddle, Lorelai Gilmore dives right into the mud puddle. It’s your greatest weakness and your greatest strength.”
Lorelai stared at Emily, her mouth agape. “Passive… drone?”
Emily shrugged. “Remember Stepford Wives?”
Lorelai placed her hand on her forehead and closed her eyes. “I am not… I never said… I can’t believe you’d say that!” she sputtered. “I am not a Stepford wife.”
“You certainly would be right now if Luke had said yes.” Emily fixed a steady gaze on Lorelai. “Honestly, as angry and hurt as you are right now, you seem to forget that you just demanded that Luke elope with you. Your solution to being shut out of a relationship is to get married to the man who is responsible for your current state of misery. I can only imagine the honeymoon. What were you thinking, Lorelai? Marriage? What could getting married right now possibly prove to you?”
“That he wants me,” Lorelai said and burst into tears.
“No,” Emily murmured and moved to the couch, sitting next to Lorelai. She reached out hesitantly and touched Lorelai’s shoulder. “Perhaps Luke is behaving like a fool. Perhaps he’s making very bad decisions. It may very well be that it’s for the best that you’ve parted ways. I don’t know much about Luke, but I know that this can’t be the woman he wants.”
“Thanks,” Lorelai sobbed. “That helps a lot.”
“You’re the most frustrating woman,” Emily said. “You have a deplorable sense of humor, hideous manners, and little to no sense of decorum. You’re loud, obnoxious, and behave like a twelve year old at the most inappropriate moments.”
Lorelai raised her head and scowled at her mother. “Could you get me another martini, heavy on the arsenic?”
Emily rolled her eyes. “You’re also a brave, confident, competent woman. You’re a wonderful mother, and a good friend. You’re strong-willed. You fight for what or who you believe in, and you never allow yourself to be cowed into submission. If there was one thing I respected about Luke was that he loved your faults as much as he loved your virtues.”
“Aw, shuck,” Lorelai said, smiling shakily. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you like me.”
“I suppose you do have your good points,” Emily said. “Well, not at this moment. Right now you look like death warmed over.”
“Nothing another martini couldn’t solve.”
“No,” Emily said. “Nothing that rediscovering your spine and putting it to use couldn’t solve.”
Lorelai snorted. “Are you actually saying I should fight for him?”
Emily looked down into her nearly empty glass. “I’m saying that I believe that Luke ultimately makes you happy, and you still love him.” She held up her hand, silencing Lorelai before she could protest. “You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t love him. You wouldn’t be this devastated.”
“Things are complicated, Mom.”
“ Life is complicated, Lorelai.”
“I don’t want life with Luke to be complicated,” Lorelai shot back. “I want what we had back. I want things to be the way they were before all this crap started.”
“It won’t ever be that way again,” Emily said. “April isn’t going to go away.”
“I didn’t say…”
“No, you didn’t. But you want things to be the way before April came along. That isn’t possible.”
“Why not?” Lorelai asked, the petulance back in force.
“Because this is the real world, and you were never one to indulge in fairy tales,” Emily said.
“Shows what you know. I’m all about the dream, baby.”
“Do you want a dream, or a life with Luke?” Emily asked.
Lorelai was quiet for a while as she thought over the question. “I want Luke,” she whispered.
“At the expense of your identity? Are you willing to lose yourself in him?”
“No,” Lorelai said softly. “No,” she repeated, louder this time.
“Good,” Emily said, relaxing back into her seat. “If you said yes, I would have lost all respect for you. So go back to him. Tell him you will fight for him. Don’t ask his permission for this or anything else. Take what you want. Let nothing stand in your way.”
“ Eight Simple Rules for Dating My Middle Aged Daughter, by Emily Schwarzenegger.” Lorelai snorted. “Should I bring a flamethrower along?”
“Not necessary,” Emily said, getting up and heading toward the drink cart. “Just a healthy dose of self-respect and a firmer spine than you’ve possessed lately. I think that should be more than sufficient. Shall I freshen your drink while I’m up?”
“Yeah, and make it snappy,” Lorelai said, shrugging when Emily frowned at her. “Just practicing that spine thing.” She leaned back against the couch cushions and closed her eyes, sighing heavily.
“Tired?” Emily asked, carrying a fresh drink to Lorelai.
“My soul needs a long nap,” Lorelai murmured.
Emily sat down next to her daughter again. “You’re welcome to spend the night if you feel unsure about driving. I don’t want you having an accident in your haste to re-stake your claim to the Burger King.”
Lorelai laughed. “Oh, Mom,” she sighed. She opened her eyes and sat up, taking her drink from Emily’s hand. “This could be the start of a beautiful friendship.” She held up her drink in salute. “Here’s to kicking the Stepford wife to the curb.”
Emily held up her glass before taking a sip. “God help us all,” she said in response.
Lorelai awoke the next morning, refreshed and refocused. She stayed for breakfast, chuckling to herself as Emily reverted to her usual snippy self. Before leaving, she pulled Emily aside, sincerely thanking her for their talk, and relished the surprised smile that lingered on her mother’s lips after she gave her a hug goodbye.
She drove back to Stars Hollow, trying to figure out how to take back her relationship with Luke. Maybe she wasn’t going to take Emily’s ‘take no prisoners’ advice quite so literally, but she was certainly going to take back her right to speak her mind. She knew, in her heart, that Luke wasn’t trying to subvert her.
But her mother was right, Lorelai realized. “Guys are stupid,” she muttered to herself. And it was time to intervene, time to make Luke see that his time for dumb decisions had reached its peak. It was time to demand an equal partnership, and a place in his daughter’s life. This time, she was going to speak her mind, and Luke was going to listen. “Stepford wife, my ass,” she said as the Crap Shack came into sight.
She slowed the Jeep down when she saw Luke’s truck sitting in front of the house, Luke nervously pacing back and forth in the yard. “Ha,” she said, enjoying the satisfaction that struck her when she saw his plight. “Made you squirm, didn’t I, Danes?”
Lorelai parked behind the truck and slid out of the Jeep. “What’s going on?” she asked, glancing at the overflowing mess that lay in the truck bed.
“Lorelai,” Luke said, turning on his heels to face her. He looked awful, she thought. Like he didn’t get a wink of sleep the night before. “We need to talk.”
She watched his face for a moment, noting the panic in his eyes. She smiled sadly. “You’ve got that right, mister.”
Luke arched an eyebrow at her. “Um… I was thinking about what you said last night and I thought…”
“Ignore what I said last night,” Lorelai said, shaking her head. “At least the part about eloping. That part was a little crazy. It’s the other stuff I’m more concerned with.”
“But…”
“We’re in no position to get married right now,” she said firmly, drawing herself up to full height. “I love you, Luke.”
“I love you, too,” he said softly.
“I love you, but you’ve been acting like a major idiot lately, and things have to change.” Luke nodded mutely. “I will not be treated like an outsider in this relationship again,” she said, her confidence growing. “April and I need to have a relationship. I am not a threat, here. I don’t want to be April’s mother, I want to be her friend. If Anna can’t handle my presence, then she’s just going to have to suck it up and find a way to deal.”
“I screwed up,” Luke said. “I’m sorry.”
“Oh boy, you better believe you screwed up,” Lorelai said. “But then again, so did I. I didn’t speak up and I let things escalate. That will not happen again. We need to deal with our issues, and we need to deal with them now.” She took Luke by the hand and gazed steadily into his eyes. “So what do you say, ready to go inside and have a really long, mature, uncomfortable talk?”
Luke nodded slowly. “Yeah,” he said, giving her a relieved smile as she led him toward the house. “Talking would be really good.”
FIN
With A Little Luck
It was at Luke's, it was at lunch, it was a very busy day, the place was packed, and this person comes tearing into the place in a caffeine frenzy. I was with a customer. She interrupts me, wild-eyed, begging for coffee, so I tell her to wait her turn. Then she starts following me around, talking a mile a minute, saying God knows what. So finally I turn to her, and I tell her she's being annoying; sit down, shut up, I'll get to her when I get to her.
She asked me what my birthday was. I wouldn't tell her. She wouldn't stop talking. I gave in. I told her my birthday. Then she opened up the newspaper to the horoscope page, wrote something down, tore it out, and handed it to me. So I'm looking at this piece of paper in my hand, and under "Scorpio," she had written, "you will meet an annoying woman today. Give her coffee and she'll go away." I gave her coffee.
She told me to hold on to that horoscope, put it in my wallet, and carry it around with me. One day it would bring me luck.
That’s the rundown I gave her eight years later, but it was a little more involved than that. What could I do, though? Couldn’t exactly tell her all the other things that I’d remembered over the years. Admitting to holding onto a scrap of paper for eight years is one thing, but confessing to all that other stuff would tip the scales from being endearingly sentimental to freakishly stalker-like.
Not that I was being a freakish stalker. There are just times in a person’s life that are forever burned into their psyche. She just happened to stumble into my diner during a big psyche-inferno kind of day. Plenty of my total recall of our first meeting isn’t even exactly because of her. She’s just background scenery for the most part, considering all the other crap going on that day. White noise. Static.
Well-defined white noise, mind you. Loud, obnoxious, unhealthy static. Background scenery that happened to have a great pair of breasts.
I’d like to say that my memory of her that day is very accurately represented by that suave narrative I gave her at Sniffy’s. I really would, but it just isn’t the case.
I may be many things to many people, but the most important thing to remember, is I’m a guy. Just ask Brad What’s-his-face, the guy with the giant cowboy hat? Scrub me down, dress me up, but no matter what, remember I’m still a guy. Not exactly a classic, but it’s the god’s honest truth.
Now, when I said she came tearing into the diner, I mean that quite literally. It was summer, and I was still trying to earn real profit on the place. I was doing better than when I started out, but funds were limited. In fact, at that point, I hadn’t replaced the door yet. It was the same door that my dad installed when he first built the place, and it had seen its share of hot and cold and wet and dry. Rough translation, the thing was severely warped, and had a tendency to stick.
Apparently the last person to come in had slammed it just enough to get it nice and stuck. Most of my regulars had learned how to work the thing when it was being temperamental. This was her first time in the diner, though, so she didn’t have a clue.
Damn near didn’t get the door open, and frankly, with the mood I was in, even if I had looked up and seen her, I wouldn’t have bothered giving her a hand. At least I could blame the fact that I had a full house for not seeing her distress.
Luckily for her, and for me, she was not one to give up easily, especially when it came to coffee. She had to practically tear the door open just to get in. I could hear the door creaking and scraping, and I suppose I was partly aware somebody was trying to open the damn thing, but I was taking an order, and frankly, I didn’t give a crap.
I didn’t look up until there was a loud grating noise, a whoosh of air, the crash of wood on wood, and the rattle of glass in its frame. She stood in the doorway holding the door open, panting from exertion, gave it a good hard kick, and walked inside. She wasn’t prepared for the door to fight back, and let out a squeal as it swung back hard, smacked her on the backside just enough to nudge her all the way inside, then settled back into its usual partially-closed state with a loud bang.
This is where the guy thing kicks in. Unfortunately I can’t say that, at first glance I knew I needed to spend my life with her. I can say that, I knew that she had great breasts. And great legs. And if she’d only turn around, I’d probably be able to see she had a great ass, too.
Not exactly poetry. But that’s the guy mentality. A girl crosses your line of sight, and you aren’t thinking about marriage and children and romance and wine and roses and violins. You don’t care about the sum total of all her parts. You just care about the size of the parts that you get to look at for a couple seconds.
Damn, she had some great parts.
I sent the order I was working on when she arrived back into the kitchen and came back out, grabbing a coffee pot as I made rounds for anyone looking for a refill. On my way back out from behind the counter, I got a chance to check out the less obvious parts. Long, wavy, dark hair pulled back in two pigtails. Pale blue eyes, striking even from a distance. Tall, but tiny looking. Definitely younger than me. Cute nose. Maid uniform with way too many buttons open at the top if you were an employer, not enough buttons undone if you were a leering man. Freckles scattered across her chest. Definitely not enough undone buttons.
That was when she pounced. My cover was blown, no more time to check out the scenery. She fell into step behind me as I walked over to the most recently filled table, poured some coffee and proceeded to take lunch orders. The entire time I was ordering she was poking me in the arm, bouncing on her heels, yapping her fool head off trying to get my attention.
She was really lucky she was so damn cute, otherwise I would have tossed her out on her scrawny ass for being so obnoxious. I wasn’t in the mood for her kind of crap, so I told her to sit down and shut the hell up, and I’d get to her when I get to her. Thus began an endless tirade from her about her need for coffee.
But she complied, taking over two stools at the counter which was great for business during the lunch rush. I glanced over once to see her bent over the stool that was now reserved for her purse, rifling through the messy contents. How did I know they were messy? Because they kept spilling on my damn floor. I stepped on a damn jelly bean that came flying out of the damn purse and nearly fell on my damn face.
I finally decided I needed to get to her next and get her some coffee, if for no other purpose than to get her the hell out of there before she gave me grounds for justifiable homicide with the incessant yapping to nobody in particular, or before she killed a customer with a Junior Mint.
Unfortunately, I had a cranky customer in the corner, and his order was up, so I had to get his food to him post-haste. There was no peace in that though, because she had decided to turn up the annoyance factor by repeatedly asking for my birth date. I refused, I ignored, I told her to be quiet, but she kept asking, so I finally gave it to her as I headed back behind the counter and grabbed for a coffee cup. I heard rustling behind me, but I had no interest in seeing what the poster child for Attention Deficit Disorder was doing, so I shut out the noise and filled the coffee mug.
When I turned around and finally gave her the drink, she leaned over the counter and shoved a scrap of paper into my hand.
I looked down at the copy of the newspaper that I kept at the counter for the regulars and realized she had torn the scrap of paper that was in my hand out of there. I looked down at what she had handed me and read the message. Truer words were never written, I decided, reading the words scribbled around the Scorpio horoscope she ripped out of the paper. You will meet an annoying woman today. Give her coffee and she’ll go away.
“Here’s your coffee,” I said, shoving the cup at her, hoping to fulfill prophecy. “Now go away.”
And then I watched in fascination as she managed to inhale an entire cup of steaming hot coffee in under a minute. She finished with a flourish and got to her feet, laying a dollar down on the counter and grabbing her purse. I dropped the horoscope to the counter and reached for the empty coffee cup, but she grabbed my hand to stop me.
Okay, I have to admit that right there, I felt something go ping. But it passed. Honest.
She picked up the horoscope, pressed it back into my palm and looked at me solemnly. “Keep it,” she said. “Put it in your wallet and carry it around with you. It’ll bring you luck.”
She waited until I dutifully tucked it into my wallet, and like that, she was gone.
Now, this is the part where one would probably expect me to start pining for her. A person might think that this is the time when I decided it was love at first sight, and I wanted her. Needed her. Couldn’t live without her.
Wrong.
I went back to work. I cleaned tables, delivered lunches, poured drinks until the lunch rush subsided. Then I whipped up a turkey sandwich and ate my own lunch, washing it down with a glass of water. I sat through the lull, then worked through the dinner rush, then shut down, cleaned up, turned off the lights and went upstairs.
I wasn’t pining for the nut bag in the diner. Hell, I didn’t even know her name. Annoying Girl was accurate, and all the information I needed to know. But, if you need to know, pining was happening.
At least it was happening when I was wasn’t acting royally pissed off at the world. I was preoccupied with Rachel. Rachel, the so-called love of my life, when she wasn’t gallivanting around the globe, doing adventurous things, living a nomadic life. Or at least that was the plan now. I guess. Hard to tell.
It had been only two weeks ago that she left, and I had only gotten her postcard that morning. Now, Rachel and I were well accustomed to breaking up and getting back together. We had long ago established a pattern. We got happy, and Rachel got going. The Anywhere-But-Here Girl. That was Rachel. Comfort wasn’t an option for her, because comfort was boring, and boring was a death sentence in her eyes.
The majority of the pattern was that I would find that Rachel and her things had mysteriously vanished one morning. There was seldom a clear reason for her leaving. It would be more helpful if we were arguing or something when she decided she’d had enough, but more often than not, she seemed to disappear just when I had decided that all was well and falling into place. The second she caught a look of contentment on my face she was out.
I never got it, really. It was always a slap in the face when she left. Why I always got suckered into getting back together with her, I’ll never understand. I wasn’t exactly looking for picket fences, 2.5 kids, a dog named Sparky, and a Volvo in the garage. I wasn’t exactly stifling her. I wasn’t opposed to her running off with her camera every now and again to satisfy the wanderlust. Sure, everyone else seemed to think we would eventually get married, but nobody ever consulted me on that theory, so why Rachel always seemed convinced that I was lurking in the shadows, about to tie her down with a marriage proposal and a life of the mundane, I couldn’t say.
This was the final straw though. I was done. I was sure of it, especially once I looked at that postcard. Who the hell breaks up with somebody via postcard, anyway? Well, besides Rachel? I mean, I already had four breakup postcards shoved in a drawer somewhere, supposedly for the purpose of reminding me how things always ended up, just in case I had a hankering to start over with Rachel again.
Of course, they always failed their purpose, because they had no clout when it came to Rachel being AWOL for months on end, waiting for me to mourn the end of our relationship, waiting for me to get past the depression and the drinking and the angst. She waited until I stopped hating her. Once I finally got past it all, once I finally started to find a little peace in the finality of things, once I was finally ready to move on with my life, there she was.
Every goddamn time. I’d look up, and there she would stand, in the doorway to the diner, curls tumbling down over her shoulders, her smile crooked and apologetic, and all she had to say was “I missed you.”
And then, sucker that I was, I’d take her back. Insert vicious circle here.
This time though, it was over. At least that’s what I’d told myself as I retired to my apartment and stormed through the place, grabbing every reminder of her that was still lingering.
Dear Luke,
Surprise. It’s me. I’m in Istanbul of all places, can you believe that? I realized that it’s been ages since I had a fresh stamp in my passport, so I just opened a map, closed my eyes and pointed, and when I looked, I was pointing at Turkey. You should see the shots I am getting here, they’re just amazing. I’m thinking this could be a book, some theme of merging the past with the present in Istanbul. What do you think? Sound good?
Hey, I’m sorry things ended like they did, but you know me. It’s too hard to have to say goodbye to you. You know, if you would just see that there’s a whole world outside of Stars Hollow, we could have such a great life together. You and me, travelling the globe. I wish you could see why I need this life, and why having you here with me would make it so much better. I guess that’s the fundamental difference between us, huh? You want to stay put, and I can’t stay in one place.
You probably hate me right now, and that’s probably justified. But I still love you. Just so you know….
Love, Rachel
Understatement of the year right there. That kind of postcard earned the fury in which her photographs were torn up, her sneakers tossed against a wall, books chucked at the garbage can. It was why I took a rare snapshot of the two of us together at a festival and took a match to it. Why I ripped up all the postcards she had sent over the years and flushed them down the toilet. Why her favorite perfume was poured down the sink drain.
I couldn’t stand the reminders of her anymore. I was tired of her leaving bits of her life behind, as if they were some kind of guarantee that I’d have to let her back into my life when she decided she wanted to come home.
It wasn’t until I dug her stupid rhinestone studded sweater out of the closet that I started wavering. That’s when I turned into a big, stupid sissy and started getting depressed. She wore that thing everywhere for the longest time. She was so attached to it that I couldn’t understand why she left that, of all things, behind.
But then I realized the game. That was her in the next time she wanted to lay down some temporary roots. Bullshit, I decided before cramming it into a box with the few things of hers that I didn’t decimate. I took the box and buried in the back of the closet and grabbed a beer to congratulate myself on a successful ex-girlfriend exorcism.
Ok, maybe at that point the exorcism wasn’t complete, but things were different. I wasn’t going to sit around and wait for her to find time in her life for me. The winds of change were blowing. It was time for finding a new alternative, one that didn’t include wishing someone who was traipsing through the Congo would just stop going to the Congo. It was stupid. The whole vicious circle was just stupid.
At that point, for some reason that I couldn’t really put my finger on, I remembered that stupid horoscope that the annoying girl with the coffee had given to me. I pulled it out of my wallet and read what she had written closely.
Keep it. Put it in your wallet and carry it around with you. It’ll bring you luck.
Of course, I’ve never been one for horoscopes, and all that other astrology mumbo jumbo crap, so I never thought to look at the actual horoscope for Scorpio that day. But it was there, so I read it.
Out with the old and in with the new, it read. You’ve come to a crossroads, and it’s time to clean out your emotional closet. There’s no time like the present to look to your future, and the past doesn’t hold the answers. It’s up to you to choose. More of the same, or a brand new path?
I tucked the scrap of paper back into my wallet, mildly impressed by the timing of that horoscope. Okay, I wasn’t going to join the Psychic Friends Network over it, but I figured it couldn’t hurt to hold onto it for a little while longer. Who was I to turn down a shot at a little luck, anyway?
And if that annoying girl with the coffee fetish came back in tomorrow, looking as cute as she did on her first visit, I figured that I may just put a little more stock in the whole sordid business of horoscopes and good luck.
Man, if I only knew then what I know now….
Be Mine
Lorelai sat at a table in the diner, hunched over what looked like a pad of paper and at least three or four pens. Luke watched curiously from the counter as she looked up from time to time, darting her eyes around suspiciously, then returning to whatever it was she was working on. Her arm was draped around the mystery project, reminding Luke suddenly of a kid in school desperately trying to not let her neighbor see her test answers.
It was Valentine’s Day, late afternoon, and the diner was relatively quiet. After all, most people who were actually lucky enough to be in relationships on such a day didn’t put diner food on the top of their lists of romantic dining experiences. Still, there were enough people floating in and out that Luke couldn’t concentrate too hard on Lorelai’s evasive maneuvers.
He had taken note of the fact that she had been nursing the same cup of coffee for over a half hour, and had barely touched the plate of fries she had ordered as a snack. He waited until there were only two other occupied tables in the diner before approaching with a pot of coffee.
“Need a warm up?” he asked as he approached her.
Lorelai jerked her head up and looked at Luke, startled. “Um, what?” she asked.
“Your coffee has been sitting there a long time,” he pointed out. “Want a fresh cup? And what the hell are you doing there, anyway?”
“Nothing,” Lorelai said, flipping the pad of paper over and shoving her cup toward Luke. “And yes, I’d like a warm up.”
“Ookay,” Luke said, filling her cup with hot coffee. “Seriously, what are you doing?” he asked. “Is…is that construction paper?”
“No,” Lorelai said sharply, laying her torso overtop of the pad of paper. “Now, go away.”
“Not until you tell me what you’re doing,” Luke said, fighting a smile as Lorelai flattened herself over the pad of paper.
“No,” Lorelai said stubbornly.
“Are you writing out your Last Will and Testament?” Luke asked.
“No,” Lorelai sighed.
“Do Not Resuscitate Order?” he pressed.
“No.”
“Grocery list?”
“No.”
“Making your own ink blots?”
“No.”
“Are you going to make me keep asking stupid questions?” Luke asked, rolling his eyes.
“I don’t know,” Lorelai said. “Are you going to keep coming up with stupid questions?”
“Possibly,” Luke said.
“Why?”
“Because it’s clearly annoying you,” he smirked. “It’s rare that I get the opportunity to annoy you, rather than the other way around.”
“You’re very good at it,” Lorelai said, glaring icily at Luke.
“Thank you,” Luke said evenly. He sat the coffee pot on the table and turned a chair around, straddling it. “What are you doing?” he asked again.
Lorelai sighed heavily. “I’m not telling you. You’ll only laugh.”
“I won’t laugh,” Luke promised.
“You will too,” Lorelai said darkly.
“Okay, I’ll probably laugh,” Luke admitted. “But I won’t laugh for long.”
Lorelai shook her head and flipped the pad of paper over. She pushed it toward Luke and then folded her arms over her chest, looking at him in a manner that dared him to mock.
Luke looked at the pad of what was indeed construction paper. “You’re making a card?”
“Yes,” Lorelai groaned.
“Why the hell are you making a card?” he asked suspiciously.
“It’s Valentine’s Day, duh,” Lorelai said.
“Most guys would prefer a kiss and a roll in the hay,” Luke muttered as he looked at the less than stellar attempt at a handmade card.
“What?” Lorelai asked, shocked.
“Nothing,” Luke said, shaking his head. “Who the hell is this for, anyway?”
“Why do you care?” Lorelai sulked.
“I don’t care,” Luke said snippily.
“Then why are you bugging me?” Lorelai asked.
“Because it’s fun,” Luke said. “This card kinda sucks.”
“Gee, thanks a lot,” Lorelai snapped, reaching across the table and snatching the pad of construction paper away from Luke.
“I’m kidding,” Luke said. “It’s an okay card. I mean, if you’re into these kinds of things.”
“Oh, here we go,” Lorelai sighed. “Do I smell a rant coming?”
“Listen,” Luke said tersely. “Clearly you’re busy. I’m sure you have to get this done before your apparently big date tonight, since construction paper is involved, so why don’t I just let you concentrate on your little art project, okay?”
Lorelai blinked. “I don’t have a date.”
“Who the hell are you making a card for then?” he asked, exasperated.
“For…Rory,” Lorelai said.
“Why?”
“Because it’s Valentine’s Day!” she wailed.
“So?” Luke asked loudly. “It’s your typical greeting card industry created holiday. A bunch of guys in suits sit around all year trying to find ways to guilt people into expressing their affections for other people on some stupid frigid day in the middle of February, of all freaking months, and everyone decides to go along with the scam, somehow buying into the fact that if they don’t buy cards and candies and freaky looking stuffed monkeys holding crappy hearts, or crappy overpriced flowers at crappy stores that are decorated to look like somebody projectile vomited red dye number 2 all over the place then they must not love someone enough. It’s stupid. It’s annoying. It’s a commercial holiday. It’s not mandated by god that everyone better buy somebody a box of sugar coated sugar to prove their feelings, or else they‘ll burn in hell.”
“Are you done yet?” Lorelai asked sullenly.
“I’m done,” Luke muttered.
“Clearly you don’t have a date either,” Lorelai said.
“It’s a stupid holiday,” Luke said.
“And yet when you don’t have anyone to share it with, it really, really sucks,” Lorelai sighed.
“You have Rory,” Luke noted.
“I do,” Lorelai said, smiling. “But then, she’s not the ideal cuddle partner, if you know what I’m saying.”
Luke grimaced. “Yeah, I get it. Let‘s not go any further down that path, okay?”
Lorelai looked down at her card. “I just thought it would be nice to show someone I cared, you know? It’s nice to have a special time to just drive the point home. Of course this thing really, really sucks.”
“It’s not so bad,” Luke said sympathetically.
“It has no pizzazz,” Lorelai said sadly. “I wanted flair. I forgot how construction paper really, really, really projects no flair.”
“Hold on a second,” Luke said, getting up from the chair and heading behind the counter. He rooted underneath the register for a moment, and carried something back to Lorelai.
“What is this for?” she asked as he laid a glue stick and a pair of scissors on the table.
“Hand me a sheet of red paper,” he ordered, taking the paper from Lorelai after she pulled it out of the pad. He folded the paper and began to cut it.
Lorelai watched, fascinated. “What are you doing?” she asked gleefully. “And how the hell do you even know how to do this?”
Luke grinned as he finished up. “I have a sister,” he told her. “Trust me, you have to know these things to keep an annoying kid entertained." He opened up the paper and showed it to Lorelai.
“Oh my god,” she gasped, looking at the intricate heart he had cut out. “It looks like lace!” she squealed.
“It’s just the same as the paper snowflake trick,” he shrugged.
“It’s beautiful,” Lorelai sighed. “This is cooler than all the candy hearts in the world.”
“The what?” Luke asked.
“Don’t you remember those little candy hearts with the messages on them?” Lorelai asked.
“Oh yeah,” Luke said, nodding. “They tasted like crap.”
“They really did,” Lorelai laughed. “But there was nothing nicer than the cutest boy in class giving you a candy heart with a really mushy message on it.”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t know,” Luke snorted. “What was your favorite?”
“I never got one,” Lorelai said sadly.
“Seriously?” Luke asked. “You never got one? That doesn’t seem right.”
“Thanks,” Lorelai said. “That’s sweet. But let’s just say, being the pregnant chick wasn’t exactly the way to score a candy heart.”
“Guess not,” Luke frowned. “You gonna keep working on that card?”
“Yeah,” Lorelai grinned, grabbing the glue stick.
“Need more fries?” he asked as he got to his feet.
“Nope,” she said. “I’m good.”
“Okay,” Luke said. “I gotta run to the store. I take it you’ll be here when I get back.”
“Maybe,” Lorelai said. “If not, I’ll see you later.”
“Yeah,” Luke said. “I’ll see you later.”
Luke turned over duties to Caesar and headed out to the store. He returned within fifteen minutes, but was disappointed to see that Lorelai had already left. He shrugged it off, hoping at the very least that she had finished her card for Rory. He placed his bag of purchases under the counter and then threw himself into an early evening rush. Before he knew it, it was seven o’clock, and the diner was suddenly deserted. He sent a grateful Caesar home for the night, who announced he had to stop at the flower store on his way home. Luke rolled his eyes as Caesar fled, trying not to feel jealous that even Caesar had someone to spend the holiday with, even if it was a crap holiday.
By nine, it was clear that the diner didn’t need to be open. Luke turned out the lights, locked up, and cleaned up before finally heading upstairs, grabbing his shopping bag on his way. He climbed the stairs slowly, not eagerly looking forward to another night alone in front of the television set.
“Stupid Hallmark holiday,” he muttered as he approached his door. He stopped short, seeing a piece of paper propped up on his doorknob. He picked it up and looked closely at his, his heart skipping a beat when he realized what it was.
“What the hell?” he muttered, opening the construction paper card.
“Okay, I lied,” it read inside. “This wasn’t a card for Rory. It was for you. Since you do so many awesome things for me all year long, and you’re always there for me whenever I need you, I thought you earned a Valentine’s Day card. You’re a pretty neat guy, Luke Danes. Also, you have a really nice butt. Love, Lorelai.”
“Love?” he gulped. He walked into the apartment and sat down at the kitchen table, rereading the card over and over. Before he knew it, he grabbed the shopping bag, fished something out, and headed out of the diner, his heart pounding in his chest.
“This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy,” he told himself repeatedly as he rushed across town. In no time, he found himself standing in front of the Crap Shack. “And once more, this is really crazy,” he said as he hurried up the porch steps and pounded on the front door.
Lorelai opened the door and looked at Luke, her eyes wide. “Hi,” she said uncertainly.
“Hi,” Luke said, blowing out a breath of air.
“So, you found it, huh?” she asked, giggling nervously.
“I found it,” he confirmed.
“I don’t know why I said the part about the butt,” Lorelai blurted out, covering her eyes with her hands. “I just wrote stuff really quick so I could leave it upstairs before you got back, and it was in ink, not pencil, so it’s not like I could erase it, and you made such a cool heart and the card looked so pretty, and I didn’t want to change it, but I couldn’t take it back, but then I didn’t want to take it back because let’s face it. You have a fine ass, Luke.” She uncovered her eyes and looked at him in fear. “So?” she asked as Luke only continued to stare at her. “What do you think?”
“Uh… about my ass?” he asked hesitantly.
“No,” Lorelai said. “About the card.”
“It was a nice card,” Luke admitted, looking at his feet. “And, um, thanks,” he added, blushing slightly.
“You’re welcome,” Lorelai said, nervously tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. “So… um, what did you come over here for?”
“I uh, just wanted to give you something,” he said, reaching out suddenly and taking her hand into his own. He turned her hand over, and put something in her palm. He closed her fingers over it and released her hand.
“What is it?” Lorelai asked.
“Well, you could look at it and see for yourself,” he sighed.
“Yeah, I could,” Lorelai said. She pulled her hand toward herself and looked at what Luke had given her. “Oh hell,” she whispered. She lifted the candy heart he had given her and read the message. “Be Mine,” she read, smiling up at Luke.
“It’s a good thing I read all the messages,” he said, clearing his throat. “I almost accidentally grabbed one that said Yum Yum, which would have been really hard to explain,” he explained.
“That would have been awkward,” Lorelai giggled.
“So um, what do you think?” Luke asked.
“About this?” Lorelai said, holding the heart up and smiling.
“Yeah,” Luke said. “Um, I may not be the cutest boy in the class, but I hear I have a really fine ass.”
Lorelai laughed and held up her index finger. “Just…wait here for a second,” she said before turning and running into the living room. Luke watched her, confused. She grabbed a box off of her coffee table and returned to the doorway.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Just…hold on,” Lorelai said, dumping a box of candy hearts on the table in the foyer. She rooted through the candies until she found what she was looking for. “Aha!” she cried, grabbing a heart and handing it to Luke.
“What, does my breath stink?” Luke asked.
“Read it, dummy,” she groaned.
Luke looked at the heart and grinned as he read it. “ Kiss Me,” he murmured.
“Uh huh,” Lorelai nodded.
“So…should I?” he began.
“Uh huh,” Lorelai giggled.
“Thank god,” Luke sighed, and pulled Lorelai close. He kissed her gently at first, then more intently as she wound her arms around his neck.
“Mmm,” Lorelai sighed against his lips.
“How was that?” Luke whispered as they parted for breath.
“ Yum Yum?” Lorelai smirked as she nuzzled her nose against his.
“Better response than Text Me, I guess,” Luke chuckled before leaning in for another kiss.
FIN
It was Valentine’s Day, late afternoon, and the diner was relatively quiet. After all, most people who were actually lucky enough to be in relationships on such a day didn’t put diner food on the top of their lists of romantic dining experiences. Still, there were enough people floating in and out that Luke couldn’t concentrate too hard on Lorelai’s evasive maneuvers.
He had taken note of the fact that she had been nursing the same cup of coffee for over a half hour, and had barely touched the plate of fries she had ordered as a snack. He waited until there were only two other occupied tables in the diner before approaching with a pot of coffee.
“Need a warm up?” he asked as he approached her.
Lorelai jerked her head up and looked at Luke, startled. “Um, what?” she asked.
“Your coffee has been sitting there a long time,” he pointed out. “Want a fresh cup? And what the hell are you doing there, anyway?”
“Nothing,” Lorelai said, flipping the pad of paper over and shoving her cup toward Luke. “And yes, I’d like a warm up.”
“Ookay,” Luke said, filling her cup with hot coffee. “Seriously, what are you doing?” he asked. “Is…is that construction paper?”
“No,” Lorelai said sharply, laying her torso overtop of the pad of paper. “Now, go away.”
“Not until you tell me what you’re doing,” Luke said, fighting a smile as Lorelai flattened herself over the pad of paper.
“No,” Lorelai said stubbornly.
“Are you writing out your Last Will and Testament?” Luke asked.
“No,” Lorelai sighed.
“Do Not Resuscitate Order?” he pressed.
“No.”
“Grocery list?”
“No.”
“Making your own ink blots?”
“No.”
“Are you going to make me keep asking stupid questions?” Luke asked, rolling his eyes.
“I don’t know,” Lorelai said. “Are you going to keep coming up with stupid questions?”
“Possibly,” Luke said.
“Why?”
“Because it’s clearly annoying you,” he smirked. “It’s rare that I get the opportunity to annoy you, rather than the other way around.”
“You’re very good at it,” Lorelai said, glaring icily at Luke.
“Thank you,” Luke said evenly. He sat the coffee pot on the table and turned a chair around, straddling it. “What are you doing?” he asked again.
Lorelai sighed heavily. “I’m not telling you. You’ll only laugh.”
“I won’t laugh,” Luke promised.
“You will too,” Lorelai said darkly.
“Okay, I’ll probably laugh,” Luke admitted. “But I won’t laugh for long.”
Lorelai shook her head and flipped the pad of paper over. She pushed it toward Luke and then folded her arms over her chest, looking at him in a manner that dared him to mock.
Luke looked at the pad of what was indeed construction paper. “You’re making a card?”
“Yes,” Lorelai groaned.
“Why the hell are you making a card?” he asked suspiciously.
“It’s Valentine’s Day, duh,” Lorelai said.
“Most guys would prefer a kiss and a roll in the hay,” Luke muttered as he looked at the less than stellar attempt at a handmade card.
“What?” Lorelai asked, shocked.
“Nothing,” Luke said, shaking his head. “Who the hell is this for, anyway?”
“Why do you care?” Lorelai sulked.
“I don’t care,” Luke said snippily.
“Then why are you bugging me?” Lorelai asked.
“Because it’s fun,” Luke said. “This card kinda sucks.”
“Gee, thanks a lot,” Lorelai snapped, reaching across the table and snatching the pad of construction paper away from Luke.
“I’m kidding,” Luke said. “It’s an okay card. I mean, if you’re into these kinds of things.”
“Oh, here we go,” Lorelai sighed. “Do I smell a rant coming?”
“Listen,” Luke said tersely. “Clearly you’re busy. I’m sure you have to get this done before your apparently big date tonight, since construction paper is involved, so why don’t I just let you concentrate on your little art project, okay?”
Lorelai blinked. “I don’t have a date.”
“Who the hell are you making a card for then?” he asked, exasperated.
“For…Rory,” Lorelai said.
“Why?”
“Because it’s Valentine’s Day!” she wailed.
“So?” Luke asked loudly. “It’s your typical greeting card industry created holiday. A bunch of guys in suits sit around all year trying to find ways to guilt people into expressing their affections for other people on some stupid frigid day in the middle of February, of all freaking months, and everyone decides to go along with the scam, somehow buying into the fact that if they don’t buy cards and candies and freaky looking stuffed monkeys holding crappy hearts, or crappy overpriced flowers at crappy stores that are decorated to look like somebody projectile vomited red dye number 2 all over the place then they must not love someone enough. It’s stupid. It’s annoying. It’s a commercial holiday. It’s not mandated by god that everyone better buy somebody a box of sugar coated sugar to prove their feelings, or else they‘ll burn in hell.”
“Are you done yet?” Lorelai asked sullenly.
“I’m done,” Luke muttered.
“Clearly you don’t have a date either,” Lorelai said.
“It’s a stupid holiday,” Luke said.
“And yet when you don’t have anyone to share it with, it really, really sucks,” Lorelai sighed.
“You have Rory,” Luke noted.
“I do,” Lorelai said, smiling. “But then, she’s not the ideal cuddle partner, if you know what I’m saying.”
Luke grimaced. “Yeah, I get it. Let‘s not go any further down that path, okay?”
Lorelai looked down at her card. “I just thought it would be nice to show someone I cared, you know? It’s nice to have a special time to just drive the point home. Of course this thing really, really sucks.”
“It’s not so bad,” Luke said sympathetically.
“It has no pizzazz,” Lorelai said sadly. “I wanted flair. I forgot how construction paper really, really, really projects no flair.”
“Hold on a second,” Luke said, getting up from the chair and heading behind the counter. He rooted underneath the register for a moment, and carried something back to Lorelai.
“What is this for?” she asked as he laid a glue stick and a pair of scissors on the table.
“Hand me a sheet of red paper,” he ordered, taking the paper from Lorelai after she pulled it out of the pad. He folded the paper and began to cut it.
Lorelai watched, fascinated. “What are you doing?” she asked gleefully. “And how the hell do you even know how to do this?”
Luke grinned as he finished up. “I have a sister,” he told her. “Trust me, you have to know these things to keep an annoying kid entertained." He opened up the paper and showed it to Lorelai.
“Oh my god,” she gasped, looking at the intricate heart he had cut out. “It looks like lace!” she squealed.
“It’s just the same as the paper snowflake trick,” he shrugged.
“It’s beautiful,” Lorelai sighed. “This is cooler than all the candy hearts in the world.”
“The what?” Luke asked.
“Don’t you remember those little candy hearts with the messages on them?” Lorelai asked.
“Oh yeah,” Luke said, nodding. “They tasted like crap.”
“They really did,” Lorelai laughed. “But there was nothing nicer than the cutest boy in class giving you a candy heart with a really mushy message on it.”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t know,” Luke snorted. “What was your favorite?”
“I never got one,” Lorelai said sadly.
“Seriously?” Luke asked. “You never got one? That doesn’t seem right.”
“Thanks,” Lorelai said. “That’s sweet. But let’s just say, being the pregnant chick wasn’t exactly the way to score a candy heart.”
“Guess not,” Luke frowned. “You gonna keep working on that card?”
“Yeah,” Lorelai grinned, grabbing the glue stick.
“Need more fries?” he asked as he got to his feet.
“Nope,” she said. “I’m good.”
“Okay,” Luke said. “I gotta run to the store. I take it you’ll be here when I get back.”
“Maybe,” Lorelai said. “If not, I’ll see you later.”
“Yeah,” Luke said. “I’ll see you later.”
Luke turned over duties to Caesar and headed out to the store. He returned within fifteen minutes, but was disappointed to see that Lorelai had already left. He shrugged it off, hoping at the very least that she had finished her card for Rory. He placed his bag of purchases under the counter and then threw himself into an early evening rush. Before he knew it, it was seven o’clock, and the diner was suddenly deserted. He sent a grateful Caesar home for the night, who announced he had to stop at the flower store on his way home. Luke rolled his eyes as Caesar fled, trying not to feel jealous that even Caesar had someone to spend the holiday with, even if it was a crap holiday.
By nine, it was clear that the diner didn’t need to be open. Luke turned out the lights, locked up, and cleaned up before finally heading upstairs, grabbing his shopping bag on his way. He climbed the stairs slowly, not eagerly looking forward to another night alone in front of the television set.
“Stupid Hallmark holiday,” he muttered as he approached his door. He stopped short, seeing a piece of paper propped up on his doorknob. He picked it up and looked closely at his, his heart skipping a beat when he realized what it was.
“What the hell?” he muttered, opening the construction paper card.
“Okay, I lied,” it read inside. “This wasn’t a card for Rory. It was for you. Since you do so many awesome things for me all year long, and you’re always there for me whenever I need you, I thought you earned a Valentine’s Day card. You’re a pretty neat guy, Luke Danes. Also, you have a really nice butt. Love, Lorelai.”
“Love?” he gulped. He walked into the apartment and sat down at the kitchen table, rereading the card over and over. Before he knew it, he grabbed the shopping bag, fished something out, and headed out of the diner, his heart pounding in his chest.
“This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy,” he told himself repeatedly as he rushed across town. In no time, he found himself standing in front of the Crap Shack. “And once more, this is really crazy,” he said as he hurried up the porch steps and pounded on the front door.
Lorelai opened the door and looked at Luke, her eyes wide. “Hi,” she said uncertainly.
“Hi,” Luke said, blowing out a breath of air.
“So, you found it, huh?” she asked, giggling nervously.
“I found it,” he confirmed.
“I don’t know why I said the part about the butt,” Lorelai blurted out, covering her eyes with her hands. “I just wrote stuff really quick so I could leave it upstairs before you got back, and it was in ink, not pencil, so it’s not like I could erase it, and you made such a cool heart and the card looked so pretty, and I didn’t want to change it, but I couldn’t take it back, but then I didn’t want to take it back because let’s face it. You have a fine ass, Luke.” She uncovered her eyes and looked at him in fear. “So?” she asked as Luke only continued to stare at her. “What do you think?”
“Uh… about my ass?” he asked hesitantly.
“No,” Lorelai said. “About the card.”
“It was a nice card,” Luke admitted, looking at his feet. “And, um, thanks,” he added, blushing slightly.
“You’re welcome,” Lorelai said, nervously tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. “So… um, what did you come over here for?”
“I uh, just wanted to give you something,” he said, reaching out suddenly and taking her hand into his own. He turned her hand over, and put something in her palm. He closed her fingers over it and released her hand.
“What is it?” Lorelai asked.
“Well, you could look at it and see for yourself,” he sighed.
“Yeah, I could,” Lorelai said. She pulled her hand toward herself and looked at what Luke had given her. “Oh hell,” she whispered. She lifted the candy heart he had given her and read the message. “Be Mine,” she read, smiling up at Luke.
“It’s a good thing I read all the messages,” he said, clearing his throat. “I almost accidentally grabbed one that said Yum Yum, which would have been really hard to explain,” he explained.
“That would have been awkward,” Lorelai giggled.
“So um, what do you think?” Luke asked.
“About this?” Lorelai said, holding the heart up and smiling.
“Yeah,” Luke said. “Um, I may not be the cutest boy in the class, but I hear I have a really fine ass.”
Lorelai laughed and held up her index finger. “Just…wait here for a second,” she said before turning and running into the living room. Luke watched her, confused. She grabbed a box off of her coffee table and returned to the doorway.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Just…hold on,” Lorelai said, dumping a box of candy hearts on the table in the foyer. She rooted through the candies until she found what she was looking for. “Aha!” she cried, grabbing a heart and handing it to Luke.
“What, does my breath stink?” Luke asked.
“Read it, dummy,” she groaned.
Luke looked at the heart and grinned as he read it. “ Kiss Me,” he murmured.
“Uh huh,” Lorelai nodded.
“So…should I?” he began.
“Uh huh,” Lorelai giggled.
“Thank god,” Luke sighed, and pulled Lorelai close. He kissed her gently at first, then more intently as she wound her arms around his neck.
“Mmm,” Lorelai sighed against his lips.
“How was that?” Luke whispered as they parted for breath.
“ Yum Yum?” Lorelai smirked as she nuzzled her nose against his.
“Better response than Text Me, I guess,” Luke chuckled before leaning in for another kiss.
FIN
To Tell the Truth
“Oh, wow.” Lorelai groaned, lounging back in her seat. “I've said it once, and I'll probably say it a million more times, but you are an angel, Luke,” she sighed as she wiped the corner of her mouth with a napkin and tossed it onto her plate. “That may have been the most amazing meal ever. And the cake is just to die for.”
Luke smiled as he got up and began to clear the plates from the table. “I'll take the praise for dinner, but that cake is all on Weston's,” he admitted. “I could never in good conscience put that much chocolate into one dessert.”
“Stick with me, slugger, and it'll happen.” Lorelai smirked. “Let me help you with that, babe,” she said, starting rise to her feet.
Luke held up his hand. “I've got it,” he insisted. “You just sit there and try to digest some of that stuff before it hardens up in your arteries. He carried the pile of dishes to the sink and set them in the basin. “More wine?” he asked over his shoulder.
“Yes, please,” Lorelai grinned, holding up her glass as Luke crossed the room with a wine bottle and refilled her glass.
“There you go,” Luke muttered and retrieved a bottle of beer from the refrigerator. He twisted off the cap and leaned up against the sink, taking a long swig of beer.
“What does that bring the count up to?” Lorelai asked.
Luke held the bottle of beer up to eye level before taking another sip. “This makes three.” he grinned.
“You're getting drunk,” Lorelai said.
“I'm feeling no pain,” Luke said. “But I'm far from drunk, I can assure you.”
“There’s nothing wrong with kicking back and blowing off a little steam.” Lorelai nodded. “We should adjourn this over to the couch, don't you think?”
“Works for me,” Luke said and he began to move toward Lorelai. He paused as she got to her feet and walked with her to the couch, his hand idly rubbing her lower back. He started to sit first, but straightened up, pulling Lorelai close to him. “Hey,” he said quietly, before lowering his head and gently kissing the corner of Lorelai's mouth.
“Hey yourself,” she murmured, holding out her glass of wine as Luke trailed his lips over her jaw and nibbled lightly on her neck.
Luke pulled back and took Lorelai's drink from her hand. He sat the wine and his beer on the table next to the couch and lowered himself to the cushions. He turned himself to the side and gently tugged on Lorelai's hand, urging her to join him. She kneeled between his legs and settled herself into position, curled up on her side, her head lying on Luke's chest.
“This is nice,” Lorelai smiled. She snuggled closer as he wrapped his arms around her.
“Very nice,” Luke agreed quietly, idly running his fingers through her hair.
“We should play a game,” Lorelai said suddenly.
“A game?” Luke chuckled. “Why? And what?”
“Because I'm going to fall asleep right now if you don't start stimulating my mind,” Lorelai said as she stifled a yawn. “Was that turkey lasagna? Because man, I'm sleepy.”
“I wasn't really planning on mind stimulation, to be honest,” Luke said. “What do you want to play?”
“Truth or Dare,” Lorelai said, looking up at Luke. “What do you say?”
“I say that games like Truth or Dare never end well.” Luke frowned.
“Paranoid.” Lorelai sighed. “If it helps, I'm too lazy to do the dare part too much.”
“It really doesn't help,” Luke grunted.
“Not a fan of honesty?”
“Not a fan of uncomfortable questions,” Luke said.
“I'll go easy on you,” Lorelai said. “Okay, you're up first. Truth or Dare.”
“Truth.” Luke sighed in defeat.
“Okay,” Lorelai said, thinking for a moment. “Who was your first kiss? And give me details.”
“That's a terrible question,” Luke frowned. “You're supposed to ask easy questions. You don't get to ask for detail. My first kiss with a girl ever, or a first date kind of thing?”
“First kiss ever and I can do whatever I want,” Lorelai giggled. “Answer me.”
“Jeez,” Luke said. “It was with Katie Bowers. First grade. She was my girlfriend for a whole week, and I kissed her and made her cry.”
“No way.” Lorelai laughed. “Why did she cry?”
“Sorry,” he said. “My turn.”
“Not fair.”
“Truth or Dare?” Luke laughed, giving Lorelai a nudge.
“Dare.”
“Hmm,” Luke intoned. “Thought you'd go for a Truth.”
“I like to keep you on your toes.” Lorelai giggled.
“Okay. Dare,” Luke said. “Dare you to kiss me without crying.”
“Easy.” She shifted and craned her neck up to reach Luke. She kissed him gently on the lips and smiled. “No crying,” she whispered. “Katie was an idiot.”
“May have had something to do with the fact that we cracked heads,” Luke said. “I wasn't a very coordinated kisser back then.”
“Time has worked for you then,” Lorelai said. “You've got skills now. Okay, Truth or Dare.”
Luke shrugged. “Truth.”
“No Dare?”
“Not yet,” Luke said. “I'm afraid of your dares.”
“Fine,” Lorelai said. “Truth. Did you or did you not make out with Crazy Carrie Duncan underneath the bleachers?”
“Not fair.” Luke groaned. “Not a fair question at all.”
“The rules dictate that you tell the truth,” Lorelai said. “Now spill, mister.”
Luke heaved a deep sigh. “Yes,” he said. “I made out with Crazy Carrie. I was drunk, okay?”
“You were not.” Lorelai laughed. “You were looking for some easy touch.”
“Actually, somebody dared me,” Luke said. “I earned twenty bucks for the sheer horror of being alone with that girl for five minutes.”
“You liked it,” Lorelai said, feigning a pout.
“Hey, I was sixteen,” Luke snorted. “I got to touch a girl's boobs. We'll do anything for that privilege at that age.”
“Over or under the shirt?” Lorelai gasped.
“My turn,” Luke said quickly. “Truth or Dare?”
“Truth,” Lorelai said, rolling her eyes.
“Okay, truth,” Luke said. “Ever has a not-so-friendly thought about me before we started dating?” he asked. “With details, please.”
“Yes,” Lorelai answered quickly. “You had a habit of pissing me off and I would think that I didn't like you and didn't want to be your friend anymore.”
“Not that kind of not-so-friendly,” Luke corrected hastily. “I meant...”
“My turn,” Lorelai smiled. “Truth or Dare?”
“No!” Luke exclaimed. “You knew what I meant and you dodged. Answer my question.”
“Don't get whiny,” Lorelai said. “Okay, there were instances in which I looked at you in a very non-Luke sort of way.”
“How so?” Luke pressed.
“Oh, I don't know,” Lorelai said. “You'd smile a certain way, or you'd do something...cute. And for a moment, I'd feel...attracted to you. There were a couple of hugs over the years that I realized I wanted to last a little longer.” She shrugged. “But I was dumb, and ignored the feeling.”
“Very dumb,” Luke agreed and kissed Lorelai's forehead.
“Truth or Dare?” Lorelai asked, snuggling closer to Luke.
“Truth.”
“Were you jealous of Max?”
“Completely,” Luke said. “Truth or Dare?”
“Truth.”
“Were you jealous of Rachel?”
“Completely,” Lorelai said softly. “Truth or Dare?”
“Dare,” Luke said.
“Wow,” Lorelai said. “He's going for a Dare.”
“Go easy on me.” Luke grinned.
Lorelai pushed herself into an upright position. “Dare you to take your shirt off,” she said.
“That's a little too easy.” Luke laughed as he sat up and tugged off his flannel shirt and t-shirt in one motion, and dropped them to the floor.
“The night is still young,” Lorelai said, dragging her fingers lightly across Luke's chest as he settled back into position.
“Truth or Dare?” Luke asked, gazing steadily at Lorelai.
“Dare.”
“Dare you to take it all off,” Luke said, his voice husky.
“What happened to going easy?” Lorelai gasped as she stood up and began to slowly undress.
“The night's not that young.” Luke shrugged, lowering his eyes to watch as Lorelai pulled her shirt over her head. He watched silently as she shed her jeans then reached her arms behind her back to unclasp the hooks of her bra.
“All of it?” Lorelai said as she let the bra drop to the floor.
“All of it.” Luke nodded, his eyes fixed on her body. He slowly sucked in his breath as she hooked her thumbs under the straps of her panties and worked them down her thighs. They pooled around her ankles and Lorelai stepped out of the crumpled fabric. “Truth or Dare?” She grinned as she stood naked in front of Luke.
“Truth,” Luke whispered distractedly as Lorelai returned to her former position, lying between his legs with her head on his chest.
“Truth,” Lorelai said. “Ever think of me in a not-so-friendly way?”
“Right now, I'm thinking of you in the most unfriendly way possible.” Luke growled as he skimmed his hand down Lorelai's back and over the curve of her ass.
“Before,” Lorelai said. “Before there was an us, I mean. And give me details.”
“You and your details,” Luke said. “Yes. I did.”
“And the details?” Lorelai asked, squirming to be able to look up at Luke.
“What kind of details?” Luke asked in exasperation. “Did I think you were attractive? Yes. Did I think less than pure thoughts about you? Yes. I'm a guy. It happens.”
“Well,” Lorelai said as she traced her fingers down Luke's stomach and over his belt. “Did you ever think anything about me that resulted in this kind of effect?” she grinned as she rested her hand on his growing hardness.
“God, yes.” Luke groaned, closing his eyes at the sensation of Lorelai's hand on him.
“What did you think to make that happen?” Lorelai purred.
“Don't ask me that,” Luke pleaded.
“I want to know,” Lorelai said.
“Why? Do you really think you'll like that I thought of you in that way?”
“What way?” Lorelai asked as she got to her knees and crawled to straddle Luke. She took his hands and place them on her breasts. “Like this?” she asked innocently. “Did you ever think of me this way?”
Luke swallowed hard and nodded as he cupped her breasts and squeezed them gently. “Yes,” he said.
“You pictured me naked?” Lorelai asked, biting her lower lip as Luke lightly teased her nipples with his thumbs.
“Yes,” Luke whispered, suddenly sitting upright enough to pull Lorelai to him. He nipped gently at her hardening nipples. “Thought of this too,” he said and he drew her into his mouth.
“Oh.” Lorelai sighed as he circled his tongue around her nipple.
“Lorelai?” Luke whispered, looking up at her.
“Hmm?” she asked distractedly.
“Truth or Dare?”
Lorelai blinked in confusion, then returned Luke's smile. “Truth.”
“Okay, truth.” Luke nodded as he turned them so his feet were on the floor. “Hang on,” he muttered as he got to his feet, his hands grasping Lorelai's thighs as she wrapped her legs around his midsection. Luke carried her across the room and lowered Lorelai to the bed and stood at the edge, watching her as she lithely stretched and rolled onto her side. He slowly began to unbuckle his belt. “Truth,” he repeated. “Did you ever think of this...with me?” he asked as he slid his jeans and boxers over his hips and let them fall to the floor around his ankles. He moved to kick off a pant leg, but was met with resistance, causing him to stumble awkwardly.
Lorelai looked down at Luke's feet. “You mean in the ultra sexy man with his pants around his ankles while still wearing his boots kind of way?” she giggled.
“Damn it,” Luke said and he clumsily sat on the bed and leaned over to loosen his shoelaces. “I was doing so well.” He yanked his shoe off with enough force to make him lose his balance and have to steady himself with one hand on the mattress as the shoe dropped to the floor with a heavy thud.
“So suave.” Lorelai laughed as she raised herself to her knees and wrapped her arms around Luke's bare shoulders. She nibbled on his ear as he struggled with the other boot. “Yes,” she whispered breathily.
“Yes what?” Luke asked as he kicked off his jeans and removed his socks.
“There was a time or two when I wondered what it was like to be with you,” she said.
“Did any of those times involve me getting stuck in my jeans?” Luke asked.
“No.” Lorelai laughed, giving Luke a squeeze. She lay back down as Luke crawled into bed next to her. “Reality is somehow better than fantasy, though, I guess,” she said.
“Who needs suave when you can have a front row seat to my interpretation of Riverdance?”
“Michael Flatley has nothing on you, babe,” Lorelai said as Luke rolled her on top of him.
“Hi.” Luke smiled as he pushed a stray lock of hair from Lorelai's face.
“Hi.” Lorelai smiled back. She lowered her head and kissed Luke gently on the lips, moaning softly as he ran his hands over her hips and ass. “Truth or Dare?” she murmured against his lips before parting them with her tongue.
“Dare,” Luke said when they parted for air. He immediately pulled Lorelai into a more passionate kiss. He moaned softly when he felt her press her wetness against him.
“Dare you to, oh!” Lorelai gasped when Luke ground against her. “That,” she whispered, closing her eyes. “Dare you to do that.”
“What else?” Luke growled, rolling them until he hovered over top of Lorelai. “Dare me to do that?” he asked and ground his erection against her folds more insistently.
“Uh huh.” Lorelai moaned, closing her eyes and trying to suppress a shiver of excitement.
“How about this?” He lowered his head and playfully bit at her throat. He nipped his way to the base of her throat and drew her flesh into his mouth, sucking gently.
“Yes,” Lorelai hissed as she buried her fingers into Luke's hair.
“And this?” Luke asked. He journeyed further down Lorelai's body, stopping to tease her nipples once more with his tongue.
“Definitely that,” Lorelai said, gasping for air as Luke urgently suckled her, alternating between breasts. He raised his head and grinned at Lorelai.
“Truth or Dare,” he said as Lorelai opened her eyes in surprise.
“What?” she panted, looking down at Luke.
“Truth or Dare,” he repeated.
“Um, truth.” She sighed and let her head fall back down to the pillow she lay on.
“Truth, huh?” Luke murmured as he traced a path over her stomach with his tongue. He continued lower and gently pushed Lorelai's legs further apart to accommodate him. “So tell the truth,” Luke whispered , blowing lightly over her wetness. “Do you really like it when I'm down here, doing...things?” he asked.
“Good god, yes.” Luke kissed the soft curls that framed her sex. “More things, please.”
“That's not how you play the game, Lorelai,” Luke said and he darted his tongue out to tease her clit.
Lorelai moaned, jerking involuntarily at the contact.
“Shh,” Luke soothed. He steadied her by smoothing his hands over her stomach and grasping her hips.
“Don't shush me when you're doing that.” Lorelai giggled.
“Should I stop?”
“No. Don't do that.”
“Then play the game,” Luke said. “You started it.”
“Oh, jeez. Truth or Dare?”
“Dare,” Luke said and waited for Lorelai. She threaded her fingers into his hair and pushed his head closer to her.
“That,” she smiled. “Right there.”
“Gotcha,” Luke said and lowered his head, covering her with his mouth. He sucked gently at her clit before he intensifying his ministrations, moaning into her as she began to writhe with pleasure.
“God, you're so good at this,” Lorelai whispered. “How are you so good at this?”
“That's not a question you should ask at this particular time,” Luke said. He circled her clit with the tip of his tongue before drawing her into his mouth once more. He sucked more urgently as Lorelai's moans of pleasure grew louder.
“God given talent?” Lorelai asked breathily as she felt herself nearing her climax.
Luke looked up at Lorelai and chuckled. “God given talent,” he agreed, then plunged his tongue into her opening.
She clutched desperately at her pillow. “Thank you god,” she whimpered. “Oh, Luke, I'm going to come. God, I love feeling you do this to me.”
“Come for me, Lorelai,” Luke growled and lapped her clit rhythmically.
“I'm coming,” Lorelai whispered, bucking her hips up involuntarily. She gasped, her head thrashing from side to side as her excitement grew. Luke hummed against her, continuing to stimulate her as she peaked. Lorelai felt herself come undone.
“Oh Luke,” she wailed as she quaked with the force of her release. Luke continued his ministrations, drawing out her pleasure until he felt her begin to calm down. He placed a few soft kisses on her inner thigh then slowly crawled to lie beside her.
“Doing okay there?” he whispered when he saw her lying with her eyes closed, her breathe still ragged.
Lorelai rolled to face Luke and smiled shakily. “Beyond okay,” she said. Luke pulled her close. “Truth or Dare?” she asked as she snuggled closer, laying her head on his shoulder.
Luke laughed out loud. “Truth,” he said after a moment.
Lorelai looked up at Luke. “Do you love me?” she whispered softly.
Luke looked down at Lorelai and pushed a damp tendril of hair from her temple. He ran his fingertips over her cheek and traced a path to her jaw. “More than I thought possible,” he whispered back. “Truth or Dare?”
“Truth,” Lorelai said, turning her head to kiss Luke's shoulder.
“Can I make love to you now?” He ran his hands across her shoulders and down her arms.
“That's not really a Truth,” Lorelai said, pulling Luke's face closer to hers so she could kiss him gently on the lips. “But you get a resounding yes to the question.”
“Good.” He kissed her deeply. “Because I really want to do that right now.” He moved to hover over Lorelai, looking down at her body beneath him. “God, you're beautiful,” he sighed before positioning his hardness at her entrance. “Do you know how beautiful you are?” he asked, sucking air in between his teeth as he slowly entered her.
“I do now.” Lorelai wrapped her arms around Luke's neck. She kissed his cheek, the bridge of his nose, then craned her neck to gently kiss his forehead. “You make me feel like I'm the most beautiful woman in the word,” she said, sighing contentedly as Luke continued his leisurely pace.
“You are,” Luke whispered, lowering his forehead to hers. He lowered himself to lean on his elbows, and groaned deeply when Lorelai wrapped her legs around his waist.
“I take it you like that?” Lorelai asked as Luke began to thrust more powerfully into her and she lifted her hips to meet his.
“Mm hmm,” Luke intoned. He covered Lorelai's mouth with his own and parted her lips with his tongue. Exploring her mouth, his tongue intertwining with hers, causing her to groan deeply as she teasingly dragged her fingernails over the taut muscles in his back.
“Don't do that,” Luke muttered, breaking the kiss and gasping for air. He stilled himself and dropped his head to Lorelai's neck.
“Don't do that?” Lorelai asked, running her fingers through his hair. “Isn't that a big part of all this?”
“All this is going to end really quick if you keep doing that.”
“Are you in the zone, Luke?” Lorelai asked. Luke retaliated by thrusting deeply into her and withdrawing slowly. “Guess so,” she murmured when he thrust into her hard yet again.
“Are you going to keep talking, or are you going to start paying attention?” Luke asked through gritted teeth. He swiveled his hips, grinding against her and eliciting a whimper from Lorelai.
“Paying attention,” she gasped. Luke began to thrust more urgently.
“Good girl,” he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut and quickening his pace even more.
She arched her back involuntarily as Luke pushed himself up to his knees, his hands on her calves. He looked down hungrily and watched as he penetrated her.
“So hot,” he growled, reaching down to stroke her clit with his thumb. “So hot, so tight.”
“Oh god, Luke,” Lorelai whispered. She looked at the lust-filled expression on his face as he looked down upon her and felt herself involuntarily coil tightly inside. She felt a delicious shiver race down her spine as she felt her imminent release begin to build.
“Jesus,” Luke said, feeling Lorelai's inner walls clench against him. He thrust wildly into her, his eyes shut, mouth open as he tried desperately to keep his passion under control. He looked at Lorelai and met her gaze, watching her as she watched him with smoky, desire-filled eyes. He moaned despite himself and reached down to hook his arms underneath her legs, quickly raising them to rest on his shoulders as he leaned forward, supporting his weight on his hands. His thrusts became more frenetic as his arousal grew.
“Luke,” Lorelai said as he changed positions. “Feels so good.” She moaned, feeling Luke turn his head to kiss her ankle. She heard his breath becoming more shallow and ragged and she felt herself begin to crumble. “I'm going to come,” she gasped, frantically clutching the sheets into her hands as Luke drove her over the edge.
“Come for me, Lorelai,” Luke drove deeper and faster into her. “I want to watch you come.”
“Oh Luke, Luke, god, I love you,” she called as she came forcefully, each thrust drawing out her release. “Jesus,” she gasped, clutching and unclutching the crumpled handfuls of sheet. Luke eased his pace until Lorelai stilled. He rubbed his hands gently along her legs and lowered them to the bed, gently withdrawing from her. He hovered over her once more, watching her as she regained control of her senses.
“Was that acceptable?” he smiled shyly when she opened her eyes to look at him.
“Beyond acceptable.” She reached up to caress his face. “You are definitely something.”
“I do my best,” Luke murmured, bending to kiss Lorelai softly.
“Babe?”
“Yeah?”
“You've earned your turn, hon.” she laughed, running her hands across Luke's chest.
“That's right, I have,” Luke said and positioned himself at her entrance again. He slowly slid into her and he looked up at her questioningly. Lorelai nodded in return, assuring him she was okay. Luke leaned forward on his hands and closed his eyes, moaning when Lorelai dragged her hands up his biceps, over his shoulder, then wrapped around behind his neck to pull him closer.
“Come here, baby,” Lorelai said as Luke lowered himself onto his elbows again. “Let me make you feel like you make me feel,” she whispered into his ear, then gently drew his earlobe into her mouth, alternately licking and sucking the tender flesh.
Luke growled deeply and lowered his head, nipping at Lorelai's neck as he drove into her again and again. He traced his tongue over her throat, and suckled gently on her clavicle. “Lorelai,” he whispered, his voice ragged as he felt himself losing control.
“I'm right here, baby,” Lorelai said, her hands gliding over his back. She slid her hands down his waist and squeezed his ass, pulling him to her. “I'm right here,” she said. “Let it go, baby.”
“Oh god,” Luke breathed as he thrust powerfully into her. “God Lorelai, I'm going to...” he said, his voice cracking as he felt the waves of pleasure wash over him.
“That's right,” Lorelai smiled. “Come for me now, Luke,” she urged, rocking her hips to meet Luke's frantic rhythm.
“I'm coming,” he gasped as he was overtaken. He pumped furiously, his release coming intensely. He growled unintelligibly as he emptied himself into Lorelai and collapsed on top of her, shaking from his efforts.
“You okay?” Lorelai whispered, smoothing Luke's hair and cradling his head to her chest.
“I'm dead,” Luke said. “I'm dead. You killed me.”
“Drama queen.” Luke shakily raised up and rolled onto his side on the bed.
“Don't assault my masculinity two seconds after all that,” Luke said and wiped sweat from his brow.
“I would never do that.” Lorelai smirked as she curled up beside Luke. “Good for you?” she asked innocently.
“Uh huh,” Luke murmured. “You?”
“Always,” Lorelai said. “You're my lobster, after all.”
“Your what?” Luke pulled Lorelai close.
“Never mind,” Lorelai said. “All you need to know is you fit well with me.”
“Dirty,” Luke mumbled, closing his eyes and distractedly massaging her hip.
“I love you,” Lorelai said softly. “You know that, right?”
“I do.” Luke nodded, opening his eyes and staring into Lorelai's. “And I love you too. Got that?”
“Got it,” Lorelai said. “So, are we going to ever play Truth or Dare again? Or did I break you with it?”
“I think I didn't give the game any credit,” Luke said. “I don't remember it ever having this kind of outcome before.”
“Well, I firmly believe that it should always have this kind of outcome from now on,” Lorelai said. “The grown up version is so much better than I ever hoped it could be.”
“Lots of potential.”
“I wonder if we could do this with other games?” Lorelai mused, stifling a yawn. “Grown up versions of games we used to play?”
“Like what?”
“Like...Red Light, Green Light?”
“Wouldn't that feel like a stalker game?” Luke snorted. “By grown up, I assume you mean naked, right?”
“Yes,” Lorelai said with a frown. “You're right, that would be a little creepy. Heads Up 7-Up?”
Luke shook his head. “Cold seats.”
“Ew.” Lorelai laughed. “Cold tushies, you mean.”
“Duck, Duck, Goose would have even scarier complications.”
“Oh my god,” Lorelai said. “I just got a horrible image of...”
“Never mind.” Luke cut her off. “I think it's safe to say that Truth or Dare is the only game that translates well.”
Lorelai was quiet for a moment. “Button, Button, Who's Got The Button?”
“Lorelai,” Luke warned.
“Ghosts in the Graveyard?”
“You're insane.” Luke sighed.
“Pickle in the Middle?”
“I'm ignoring you now.” Luke groaned and pulled a pillow over his head.
“Doggy, Doggy, Where's Your….”
“Lorelai!” Luke bellowed from underneath the pillow.
“Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board?” Lorelai smirked.
Luke pulled the pillow off his head. “You're not going to let it go, are you?”
“Nope,” Lorelai said. “That's why you love me, burger boy.”
“God help me,” Luke said. “I'm never playing with you again. That's that.”
“Dirty!” Lorelai gasped. “And mean,” she pouted.
Luke shook his head and rolled away from Lorelai. “I'm going to sleep now,” he said. “Need my rest to keep up with the crazy person lying next to me.”
“Night, Luke,” Lorelai said.
“Night, Crazy Lady,” he replied.
FIN
Luke smiled as he got up and began to clear the plates from the table. “I'll take the praise for dinner, but that cake is all on Weston's,” he admitted. “I could never in good conscience put that much chocolate into one dessert.”
“Stick with me, slugger, and it'll happen.” Lorelai smirked. “Let me help you with that, babe,” she said, starting rise to her feet.
Luke held up his hand. “I've got it,” he insisted. “You just sit there and try to digest some of that stuff before it hardens up in your arteries. He carried the pile of dishes to the sink and set them in the basin. “More wine?” he asked over his shoulder.
“Yes, please,” Lorelai grinned, holding up her glass as Luke crossed the room with a wine bottle and refilled her glass.
“There you go,” Luke muttered and retrieved a bottle of beer from the refrigerator. He twisted off the cap and leaned up against the sink, taking a long swig of beer.
“What does that bring the count up to?” Lorelai asked.
Luke held the bottle of beer up to eye level before taking another sip. “This makes three.” he grinned.
“You're getting drunk,” Lorelai said.
“I'm feeling no pain,” Luke said. “But I'm far from drunk, I can assure you.”
“There’s nothing wrong with kicking back and blowing off a little steam.” Lorelai nodded. “We should adjourn this over to the couch, don't you think?”
“Works for me,” Luke said and he began to move toward Lorelai. He paused as she got to her feet and walked with her to the couch, his hand idly rubbing her lower back. He started to sit first, but straightened up, pulling Lorelai close to him. “Hey,” he said quietly, before lowering his head and gently kissing the corner of Lorelai's mouth.
“Hey yourself,” she murmured, holding out her glass of wine as Luke trailed his lips over her jaw and nibbled lightly on her neck.
Luke pulled back and took Lorelai's drink from her hand. He sat the wine and his beer on the table next to the couch and lowered himself to the cushions. He turned himself to the side and gently tugged on Lorelai's hand, urging her to join him. She kneeled between his legs and settled herself into position, curled up on her side, her head lying on Luke's chest.
“This is nice,” Lorelai smiled. She snuggled closer as he wrapped his arms around her.
“Very nice,” Luke agreed quietly, idly running his fingers through her hair.
“We should play a game,” Lorelai said suddenly.
“A game?” Luke chuckled. “Why? And what?”
“Because I'm going to fall asleep right now if you don't start stimulating my mind,” Lorelai said as she stifled a yawn. “Was that turkey lasagna? Because man, I'm sleepy.”
“I wasn't really planning on mind stimulation, to be honest,” Luke said. “What do you want to play?”
“Truth or Dare,” Lorelai said, looking up at Luke. “What do you say?”
“I say that games like Truth or Dare never end well.” Luke frowned.
“Paranoid.” Lorelai sighed. “If it helps, I'm too lazy to do the dare part too much.”
“It really doesn't help,” Luke grunted.
“Not a fan of honesty?”
“Not a fan of uncomfortable questions,” Luke said.
“I'll go easy on you,” Lorelai said. “Okay, you're up first. Truth or Dare.”
“Truth.” Luke sighed in defeat.
“Okay,” Lorelai said, thinking for a moment. “Who was your first kiss? And give me details.”
“That's a terrible question,” Luke frowned. “You're supposed to ask easy questions. You don't get to ask for detail. My first kiss with a girl ever, or a first date kind of thing?”
“First kiss ever and I can do whatever I want,” Lorelai giggled. “Answer me.”
“Jeez,” Luke said. “It was with Katie Bowers. First grade. She was my girlfriend for a whole week, and I kissed her and made her cry.”
“No way.” Lorelai laughed. “Why did she cry?”
“Sorry,” he said. “My turn.”
“Not fair.”
“Truth or Dare?” Luke laughed, giving Lorelai a nudge.
“Dare.”
“Hmm,” Luke intoned. “Thought you'd go for a Truth.”
“I like to keep you on your toes.” Lorelai giggled.
“Okay. Dare,” Luke said. “Dare you to kiss me without crying.”
“Easy.” She shifted and craned her neck up to reach Luke. She kissed him gently on the lips and smiled. “No crying,” she whispered. “Katie was an idiot.”
“May have had something to do with the fact that we cracked heads,” Luke said. “I wasn't a very coordinated kisser back then.”
“Time has worked for you then,” Lorelai said. “You've got skills now. Okay, Truth or Dare.”
Luke shrugged. “Truth.”
“No Dare?”
“Not yet,” Luke said. “I'm afraid of your dares.”
“Fine,” Lorelai said. “Truth. Did you or did you not make out with Crazy Carrie Duncan underneath the bleachers?”
“Not fair.” Luke groaned. “Not a fair question at all.”
“The rules dictate that you tell the truth,” Lorelai said. “Now spill, mister.”
Luke heaved a deep sigh. “Yes,” he said. “I made out with Crazy Carrie. I was drunk, okay?”
“You were not.” Lorelai laughed. “You were looking for some easy touch.”
“Actually, somebody dared me,” Luke said. “I earned twenty bucks for the sheer horror of being alone with that girl for five minutes.”
“You liked it,” Lorelai said, feigning a pout.
“Hey, I was sixteen,” Luke snorted. “I got to touch a girl's boobs. We'll do anything for that privilege at that age.”
“Over or under the shirt?” Lorelai gasped.
“My turn,” Luke said quickly. “Truth or Dare?”
“Truth,” Lorelai said, rolling her eyes.
“Okay, truth,” Luke said. “Ever has a not-so-friendly thought about me before we started dating?” he asked. “With details, please.”
“Yes,” Lorelai answered quickly. “You had a habit of pissing me off and I would think that I didn't like you and didn't want to be your friend anymore.”
“Not that kind of not-so-friendly,” Luke corrected hastily. “I meant...”
“My turn,” Lorelai smiled. “Truth or Dare?”
“No!” Luke exclaimed. “You knew what I meant and you dodged. Answer my question.”
“Don't get whiny,” Lorelai said. “Okay, there were instances in which I looked at you in a very non-Luke sort of way.”
“How so?” Luke pressed.
“Oh, I don't know,” Lorelai said. “You'd smile a certain way, or you'd do something...cute. And for a moment, I'd feel...attracted to you. There were a couple of hugs over the years that I realized I wanted to last a little longer.” She shrugged. “But I was dumb, and ignored the feeling.”
“Very dumb,” Luke agreed and kissed Lorelai's forehead.
“Truth or Dare?” Lorelai asked, snuggling closer to Luke.
“Truth.”
“Were you jealous of Max?”
“Completely,” Luke said. “Truth or Dare?”
“Truth.”
“Were you jealous of Rachel?”
“Completely,” Lorelai said softly. “Truth or Dare?”
“Dare,” Luke said.
“Wow,” Lorelai said. “He's going for a Dare.”
“Go easy on me.” Luke grinned.
Lorelai pushed herself into an upright position. “Dare you to take your shirt off,” she said.
“That's a little too easy.” Luke laughed as he sat up and tugged off his flannel shirt and t-shirt in one motion, and dropped them to the floor.
“The night is still young,” Lorelai said, dragging her fingers lightly across Luke's chest as he settled back into position.
“Truth or Dare?” Luke asked, gazing steadily at Lorelai.
“Dare.”
“Dare you to take it all off,” Luke said, his voice husky.
“What happened to going easy?” Lorelai gasped as she stood up and began to slowly undress.
“The night's not that young.” Luke shrugged, lowering his eyes to watch as Lorelai pulled her shirt over her head. He watched silently as she shed her jeans then reached her arms behind her back to unclasp the hooks of her bra.
“All of it?” Lorelai said as she let the bra drop to the floor.
“All of it.” Luke nodded, his eyes fixed on her body. He slowly sucked in his breath as she hooked her thumbs under the straps of her panties and worked them down her thighs. They pooled around her ankles and Lorelai stepped out of the crumpled fabric. “Truth or Dare?” She grinned as she stood naked in front of Luke.
“Truth,” Luke whispered distractedly as Lorelai returned to her former position, lying between his legs with her head on his chest.
“Truth,” Lorelai said. “Ever think of me in a not-so-friendly way?”
“Right now, I'm thinking of you in the most unfriendly way possible.” Luke growled as he skimmed his hand down Lorelai's back and over the curve of her ass.
“Before,” Lorelai said. “Before there was an us, I mean. And give me details.”
“You and your details,” Luke said. “Yes. I did.”
“And the details?” Lorelai asked, squirming to be able to look up at Luke.
“What kind of details?” Luke asked in exasperation. “Did I think you were attractive? Yes. Did I think less than pure thoughts about you? Yes. I'm a guy. It happens.”
“Well,” Lorelai said as she traced her fingers down Luke's stomach and over his belt. “Did you ever think anything about me that resulted in this kind of effect?” she grinned as she rested her hand on his growing hardness.
“God, yes.” Luke groaned, closing his eyes at the sensation of Lorelai's hand on him.
“What did you think to make that happen?” Lorelai purred.
“Don't ask me that,” Luke pleaded.
“I want to know,” Lorelai said.
“Why? Do you really think you'll like that I thought of you in that way?”
“What way?” Lorelai asked as she got to her knees and crawled to straddle Luke. She took his hands and place them on her breasts. “Like this?” she asked innocently. “Did you ever think of me this way?”
Luke swallowed hard and nodded as he cupped her breasts and squeezed them gently. “Yes,” he said.
“You pictured me naked?” Lorelai asked, biting her lower lip as Luke lightly teased her nipples with his thumbs.
“Yes,” Luke whispered, suddenly sitting upright enough to pull Lorelai to him. He nipped gently at her hardening nipples. “Thought of this too,” he said and he drew her into his mouth.
“Oh.” Lorelai sighed as he circled his tongue around her nipple.
“Lorelai?” Luke whispered, looking up at her.
“Hmm?” she asked distractedly.
“Truth or Dare?”
Lorelai blinked in confusion, then returned Luke's smile. “Truth.”
“Okay, truth.” Luke nodded as he turned them so his feet were on the floor. “Hang on,” he muttered as he got to his feet, his hands grasping Lorelai's thighs as she wrapped her legs around his midsection. Luke carried her across the room and lowered Lorelai to the bed and stood at the edge, watching her as she lithely stretched and rolled onto her side. He slowly began to unbuckle his belt. “Truth,” he repeated. “Did you ever think of this...with me?” he asked as he slid his jeans and boxers over his hips and let them fall to the floor around his ankles. He moved to kick off a pant leg, but was met with resistance, causing him to stumble awkwardly.
Lorelai looked down at Luke's feet. “You mean in the ultra sexy man with his pants around his ankles while still wearing his boots kind of way?” she giggled.
“Damn it,” Luke said and he clumsily sat on the bed and leaned over to loosen his shoelaces. “I was doing so well.” He yanked his shoe off with enough force to make him lose his balance and have to steady himself with one hand on the mattress as the shoe dropped to the floor with a heavy thud.
“So suave.” Lorelai laughed as she raised herself to her knees and wrapped her arms around Luke's bare shoulders. She nibbled on his ear as he struggled with the other boot. “Yes,” she whispered breathily.
“Yes what?” Luke asked as he kicked off his jeans and removed his socks.
“There was a time or two when I wondered what it was like to be with you,” she said.
“Did any of those times involve me getting stuck in my jeans?” Luke asked.
“No.” Lorelai laughed, giving Luke a squeeze. She lay back down as Luke crawled into bed next to her. “Reality is somehow better than fantasy, though, I guess,” she said.
“Who needs suave when you can have a front row seat to my interpretation of Riverdance?”
“Michael Flatley has nothing on you, babe,” Lorelai said as Luke rolled her on top of him.
“Hi.” Luke smiled as he pushed a stray lock of hair from Lorelai's face.
“Hi.” Lorelai smiled back. She lowered her head and kissed Luke gently on the lips, moaning softly as he ran his hands over her hips and ass. “Truth or Dare?” she murmured against his lips before parting them with her tongue.
“Dare,” Luke said when they parted for air. He immediately pulled Lorelai into a more passionate kiss. He moaned softly when he felt her press her wetness against him.
“Dare you to, oh!” Lorelai gasped when Luke ground against her. “That,” she whispered, closing her eyes. “Dare you to do that.”
“What else?” Luke growled, rolling them until he hovered over top of Lorelai. “Dare me to do that?” he asked and ground his erection against her folds more insistently.
“Uh huh.” Lorelai moaned, closing her eyes and trying to suppress a shiver of excitement.
“How about this?” He lowered his head and playfully bit at her throat. He nipped his way to the base of her throat and drew her flesh into his mouth, sucking gently.
“Yes,” Lorelai hissed as she buried her fingers into Luke's hair.
“And this?” Luke asked. He journeyed further down Lorelai's body, stopping to tease her nipples once more with his tongue.
“Definitely that,” Lorelai said, gasping for air as Luke urgently suckled her, alternating between breasts. He raised his head and grinned at Lorelai.
“Truth or Dare,” he said as Lorelai opened her eyes in surprise.
“What?” she panted, looking down at Luke.
“Truth or Dare,” he repeated.
“Um, truth.” She sighed and let her head fall back down to the pillow she lay on.
“Truth, huh?” Luke murmured as he traced a path over her stomach with his tongue. He continued lower and gently pushed Lorelai's legs further apart to accommodate him. “So tell the truth,” Luke whispered , blowing lightly over her wetness. “Do you really like it when I'm down here, doing...things?” he asked.
“Good god, yes.” Luke kissed the soft curls that framed her sex. “More things, please.”
“That's not how you play the game, Lorelai,” Luke said and he darted his tongue out to tease her clit.
Lorelai moaned, jerking involuntarily at the contact.
“Shh,” Luke soothed. He steadied her by smoothing his hands over her stomach and grasping her hips.
“Don't shush me when you're doing that.” Lorelai giggled.
“Should I stop?”
“No. Don't do that.”
“Then play the game,” Luke said. “You started it.”
“Oh, jeez. Truth or Dare?”
“Dare,” Luke said and waited for Lorelai. She threaded her fingers into his hair and pushed his head closer to her.
“That,” she smiled. “Right there.”
“Gotcha,” Luke said and lowered his head, covering her with his mouth. He sucked gently at her clit before he intensifying his ministrations, moaning into her as she began to writhe with pleasure.
“God, you're so good at this,” Lorelai whispered. “How are you so good at this?”
“That's not a question you should ask at this particular time,” Luke said. He circled her clit with the tip of his tongue before drawing her into his mouth once more. He sucked more urgently as Lorelai's moans of pleasure grew louder.
“God given talent?” Lorelai asked breathily as she felt herself nearing her climax.
Luke looked up at Lorelai and chuckled. “God given talent,” he agreed, then plunged his tongue into her opening.
She clutched desperately at her pillow. “Thank you god,” she whimpered. “Oh, Luke, I'm going to come. God, I love feeling you do this to me.”
“Come for me, Lorelai,” Luke growled and lapped her clit rhythmically.
“I'm coming,” Lorelai whispered, bucking her hips up involuntarily. She gasped, her head thrashing from side to side as her excitement grew. Luke hummed against her, continuing to stimulate her as she peaked. Lorelai felt herself come undone.
“Oh Luke,” she wailed as she quaked with the force of her release. Luke continued his ministrations, drawing out her pleasure until he felt her begin to calm down. He placed a few soft kisses on her inner thigh then slowly crawled to lie beside her.
“Doing okay there?” he whispered when he saw her lying with her eyes closed, her breathe still ragged.
Lorelai rolled to face Luke and smiled shakily. “Beyond okay,” she said. Luke pulled her close. “Truth or Dare?” she asked as she snuggled closer, laying her head on his shoulder.
Luke laughed out loud. “Truth,” he said after a moment.
Lorelai looked up at Luke. “Do you love me?” she whispered softly.
Luke looked down at Lorelai and pushed a damp tendril of hair from her temple. He ran his fingertips over her cheek and traced a path to her jaw. “More than I thought possible,” he whispered back. “Truth or Dare?”
“Truth,” Lorelai said, turning her head to kiss Luke's shoulder.
“Can I make love to you now?” He ran his hands across her shoulders and down her arms.
“That's not really a Truth,” Lorelai said, pulling Luke's face closer to hers so she could kiss him gently on the lips. “But you get a resounding yes to the question.”
“Good.” He kissed her deeply. “Because I really want to do that right now.” He moved to hover over Lorelai, looking down at her body beneath him. “God, you're beautiful,” he sighed before positioning his hardness at her entrance. “Do you know how beautiful you are?” he asked, sucking air in between his teeth as he slowly entered her.
“I do now.” Lorelai wrapped her arms around Luke's neck. She kissed his cheek, the bridge of his nose, then craned her neck to gently kiss his forehead. “You make me feel like I'm the most beautiful woman in the word,” she said, sighing contentedly as Luke continued his leisurely pace.
“You are,” Luke whispered, lowering his forehead to hers. He lowered himself to lean on his elbows, and groaned deeply when Lorelai wrapped her legs around his waist.
“I take it you like that?” Lorelai asked as Luke began to thrust more powerfully into her and she lifted her hips to meet his.
“Mm hmm,” Luke intoned. He covered Lorelai's mouth with his own and parted her lips with his tongue. Exploring her mouth, his tongue intertwining with hers, causing her to groan deeply as she teasingly dragged her fingernails over the taut muscles in his back.
“Don't do that,” Luke muttered, breaking the kiss and gasping for air. He stilled himself and dropped his head to Lorelai's neck.
“Don't do that?” Lorelai asked, running her fingers through his hair. “Isn't that a big part of all this?”
“All this is going to end really quick if you keep doing that.”
“Are you in the zone, Luke?” Lorelai asked. Luke retaliated by thrusting deeply into her and withdrawing slowly. “Guess so,” she murmured when he thrust into her hard yet again.
“Are you going to keep talking, or are you going to start paying attention?” Luke asked through gritted teeth. He swiveled his hips, grinding against her and eliciting a whimper from Lorelai.
“Paying attention,” she gasped. Luke began to thrust more urgently.
“Good girl,” he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut and quickening his pace even more.
She arched her back involuntarily as Luke pushed himself up to his knees, his hands on her calves. He looked down hungrily and watched as he penetrated her.
“So hot,” he growled, reaching down to stroke her clit with his thumb. “So hot, so tight.”
“Oh god, Luke,” Lorelai whispered. She looked at the lust-filled expression on his face as he looked down upon her and felt herself involuntarily coil tightly inside. She felt a delicious shiver race down her spine as she felt her imminent release begin to build.
“Jesus,” Luke said, feeling Lorelai's inner walls clench against him. He thrust wildly into her, his eyes shut, mouth open as he tried desperately to keep his passion under control. He looked at Lorelai and met her gaze, watching her as she watched him with smoky, desire-filled eyes. He moaned despite himself and reached down to hook his arms underneath her legs, quickly raising them to rest on his shoulders as he leaned forward, supporting his weight on his hands. His thrusts became more frenetic as his arousal grew.
“Luke,” Lorelai said as he changed positions. “Feels so good.” She moaned, feeling Luke turn his head to kiss her ankle. She heard his breath becoming more shallow and ragged and she felt herself begin to crumble. “I'm going to come,” she gasped, frantically clutching the sheets into her hands as Luke drove her over the edge.
“Come for me, Lorelai,” Luke drove deeper and faster into her. “I want to watch you come.”
“Oh Luke, Luke, god, I love you,” she called as she came forcefully, each thrust drawing out her release. “Jesus,” she gasped, clutching and unclutching the crumpled handfuls of sheet. Luke eased his pace until Lorelai stilled. He rubbed his hands gently along her legs and lowered them to the bed, gently withdrawing from her. He hovered over her once more, watching her as she regained control of her senses.
“Was that acceptable?” he smiled shyly when she opened her eyes to look at him.
“Beyond acceptable.” She reached up to caress his face. “You are definitely something.”
“I do my best,” Luke murmured, bending to kiss Lorelai softly.
“Babe?”
“Yeah?”
“You've earned your turn, hon.” she laughed, running her hands across Luke's chest.
“That's right, I have,” Luke said and positioned himself at her entrance again. He slowly slid into her and he looked up at her questioningly. Lorelai nodded in return, assuring him she was okay. Luke leaned forward on his hands and closed his eyes, moaning when Lorelai dragged her hands up his biceps, over his shoulder, then wrapped around behind his neck to pull him closer.
“Come here, baby,” Lorelai said as Luke lowered himself onto his elbows again. “Let me make you feel like you make me feel,” she whispered into his ear, then gently drew his earlobe into her mouth, alternately licking and sucking the tender flesh.
Luke growled deeply and lowered his head, nipping at Lorelai's neck as he drove into her again and again. He traced his tongue over her throat, and suckled gently on her clavicle. “Lorelai,” he whispered, his voice ragged as he felt himself losing control.
“I'm right here, baby,” Lorelai said, her hands gliding over his back. She slid her hands down his waist and squeezed his ass, pulling him to her. “I'm right here,” she said. “Let it go, baby.”
“Oh god,” Luke breathed as he thrust powerfully into her. “God Lorelai, I'm going to...” he said, his voice cracking as he felt the waves of pleasure wash over him.
“That's right,” Lorelai smiled. “Come for me now, Luke,” she urged, rocking her hips to meet Luke's frantic rhythm.
“I'm coming,” he gasped as he was overtaken. He pumped furiously, his release coming intensely. He growled unintelligibly as he emptied himself into Lorelai and collapsed on top of her, shaking from his efforts.
“You okay?” Lorelai whispered, smoothing Luke's hair and cradling his head to her chest.
“I'm dead,” Luke said. “I'm dead. You killed me.”
“Drama queen.” Luke shakily raised up and rolled onto his side on the bed.
“Don't assault my masculinity two seconds after all that,” Luke said and wiped sweat from his brow.
“I would never do that.” Lorelai smirked as she curled up beside Luke. “Good for you?” she asked innocently.
“Uh huh,” Luke murmured. “You?”
“Always,” Lorelai said. “You're my lobster, after all.”
“Your what?” Luke pulled Lorelai close.
“Never mind,” Lorelai said. “All you need to know is you fit well with me.”
“Dirty,” Luke mumbled, closing his eyes and distractedly massaging her hip.
“I love you,” Lorelai said softly. “You know that, right?”
“I do.” Luke nodded, opening his eyes and staring into Lorelai's. “And I love you too. Got that?”
“Got it,” Lorelai said. “So, are we going to ever play Truth or Dare again? Or did I break you with it?”
“I think I didn't give the game any credit,” Luke said. “I don't remember it ever having this kind of outcome before.”
“Well, I firmly believe that it should always have this kind of outcome from now on,” Lorelai said. “The grown up version is so much better than I ever hoped it could be.”
“Lots of potential.”
“I wonder if we could do this with other games?” Lorelai mused, stifling a yawn. “Grown up versions of games we used to play?”
“Like what?”
“Like...Red Light, Green Light?”
“Wouldn't that feel like a stalker game?” Luke snorted. “By grown up, I assume you mean naked, right?”
“Yes,” Lorelai said with a frown. “You're right, that would be a little creepy. Heads Up 7-Up?”
Luke shook his head. “Cold seats.”
“Ew.” Lorelai laughed. “Cold tushies, you mean.”
“Duck, Duck, Goose would have even scarier complications.”
“Oh my god,” Lorelai said. “I just got a horrible image of...”
“Never mind.” Luke cut her off. “I think it's safe to say that Truth or Dare is the only game that translates well.”
Lorelai was quiet for a moment. “Button, Button, Who's Got The Button?”
“Lorelai,” Luke warned.
“Ghosts in the Graveyard?”
“You're insane.” Luke sighed.
“Pickle in the Middle?”
“I'm ignoring you now.” Luke groaned and pulled a pillow over his head.
“Doggy, Doggy, Where's Your….”
“Lorelai!” Luke bellowed from underneath the pillow.
“Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board?” Lorelai smirked.
Luke pulled the pillow off his head. “You're not going to let it go, are you?”
“Nope,” Lorelai said. “That's why you love me, burger boy.”
“God help me,” Luke said. “I'm never playing with you again. That's that.”
“Dirty!” Lorelai gasped. “And mean,” she pouted.
Luke shook his head and rolled away from Lorelai. “I'm going to sleep now,” he said. “Need my rest to keep up with the crazy person lying next to me.”
“Night, Luke,” Lorelai said.
“Night, Crazy Lady,” he replied.
FIN